some things to read

Here are some things I have been reading lately that you should read too:

1) Amazing story HERE

He said he was leaving and she ignored it

(link found through Design MOM)

2) Everything on Mara's blog

www.ablogaboutlove.com

but particularly the stories AND comments on internet and marriage

so brave to share what some have shared

even the anonymous comments

3) James is my favorite writer

someone should give him a job writing

and world peace would ensue

http://bottomlesslakes.blogspot.com/

he has a few funny on going posts

one with Edie, his 3+ month old

and another new one

a romance novel

go have yourself a laugh

a dark, ironic, and lighthearted laugh

Back-blogging Part 5

I signed Pete up for a soccer class the last couple months of 2011. I thought he would love it. Remember how his first day he wouldn't answer to anything but Superman? Well, that was the cutest thing ever and it was downhill from there. He became belligerent about the superman thing and he refused to play soccer without his cape. But just because he was wearing the cape didn't mean he would play soccer. He would kick and scream and cry the whole time. No amount of bribes or threats could persuade him. Eventually Andy or I would get up and play. I mean, we were paying for the class, so someone was going to learn soccer. And on a few occasions, Pete would come out and play with us, and we could slowly melt back into the sidelines.

The frustrating thing about the whole situation is that I saw myself in Pete. I saw myself scared to put myself in a situation I am unfamiliar with. I saw myself scared to try something new. I saw myself begging my mom to come with me or do it for me. I saw all my insecurities and apprehensions in my sweet little boy. But what I also saw was what I didn't see as a child. That Pete was safe, that I wasn't leaving him, that he could go out there and look like a fool because every other 3 year old in the class looked like a fool too. I could see that Pete would have a great deal of fun if he just gave it a try. I wish my 3 year old self could have seen that because maybe she would have done more as a child or experienced less anxiety growing up.

The most frustrating thing about it is that I didn't handle it well. I didn't give Pete what I would have wanted as a child. I didn't give him a break. I didn't comfort him. I tried nice for about a minute and then I gave into my frustrations and didn't keep it from Pete. I did it because I was mad that he was experiencing my anxieties. I wish I hadn't done that. It exacerbated the issue, and more than that, it made Pete feel uncertain of his position with me. He felt scared and vulnerable and I gave him no cushion to feel safe on.

The odd thing about this is that I could see how safe Pete was and how ridiculous he was being. But even still I get anxious about new situations, I want a safety net or I want someone to do it for me, to take the edge off, to shield me from uncomfortable situations. But I bet my future self would look back on my younger self and wish I hadn't been so guarded and anxious. I can't expect Pete to jump in if I can't do it myself still. I can't be mad at Pete because I am really frustrated with myself. I can only push myself out of my comfort zone, not Pete. Because if he is anything like me (and as it turns out, in some respects he is), it will only backfire. All I can do is provide a safe zone for Pete to explore until he is ready to broaden his horizon a little more.

It's alarming and enlightening what your children will reveal about you, what stories they will repeat, what memories they will uncover.

Back-blogging Part 4

Christmas with kids is a whole new experience

its magical again

every Christmas light

every red bow

anything evergreen

brings out in Pete excited exclamations

I find myself catching his Christmas energy

his delight at the seeing the tree at Rockefeller Plaza was satisfying

and when we took him to see Santa at ABC Home

he got straight down to business letting Santa know what he wanted for Christmas

I thought for sure he would clam up

but he surprised us

PS isn't this Santa magical? He is real too, I mean real real. He flew home in his sleigh after his shift at ABC home. It was a week before Christmas and I am sure he had to check the list one last time before he started delivering gifts to children.

Shop Updates

many more to post, but this is a start

look for more to come!

www.daydreamshandmade.etsy.com

Hands

I remember as a child loving to sit next to my mom at church. I loved to look at her hands. I would hold them in my hands and admire her nails, feel how soft her hands were, and how pretty her gold wedding ring looked against her olive skin. I remember she used to flatten my hand, palm side up. Then softly with her pinky finger, she would circle in my palm while saying

"ring around the rosy, like a teddy bear, one step (lightly pinching my wrist) two step (lightly pinching my elbow pit), tickle you under there (tickling my armpit)"

She also taught me the hand rhyme

"here's the church, here's the steeple, open it up and there's all the people

clothes the doors and hear them pray, open them up and they all run away"

I loved playing these quiet little games with my mom. Mostly because I loved her hands. I remember hoping that when I grew up my hands would be a pretty as my moms hands.

I used to love to watch her hands as she would sew or play the piano. I loved how quickly they moved and how they seem to have a life of their own. They were fine tuned for the task at hand. I also hoped my hands would be as skilled as my mom's hands one day. With her hands, she made me (and my siblings) everything. She almost always made us dinner from scratch. She made us clothing for school, church, and summer trips. I have many memories of things my mom has made for me with her hands.

Some of my most vivid memories of my mother's hands have no words to describe. They are felt. The way they felt on my fevered head or back when I was sick. I remember how they felt when she would braid my hair when I was really young. I remember how kind they felt, how comfortable and familiar they felt. I remember how safe they felt. Sensory memories are so strong but are often so hard to describe.

I don't think my hands look quite like my mom's do. But everyday, I like to think that I try to do things with my hands that she did and does with hers. I am hoping that by doing so, my hands will one day look like hers. I hope that one day my children will think of my hands doing such thoughtful and meaningful things for them as my mother did for me. I hope they think as fondly on my hands as I do on my mother's.

Happy Birthday Mom (Gramie).

We love you.

We miss you.

We hope your day is blessed,

just as you have blessed our lives.

Back-blogging Part 3

South Slope Craft Fair

It went well

well enough for me to get one of.......

THESE!!!!!!!!

I have already used it a few times

I am in love

don't know why I waited so long to get one

I still have no idea what I am doing

but I excited to see what I do with it this year

Back-blogging Part 2

Thanksgiving found us road tripping down to NC to be with old friends.

BFF high fives all around!!!

What? No high five?

Well... you owe me five.

PS have you ever been on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel?

It's trippy. You are on a bridge one minute, a tunnel the next, all over water for about a 20 minute drive. Kind of like a slow motion roller coaster in the comfort of your car and the danger of an angry sea all around you (or an angry bay???). Totally worth the $12 toll, which, as it turns out, is chump change compared to the lame-o bridges you cross here in NYC and have to pay same amount or more. Except, of course, for the Brooklyn Bridge which is free and amazing.

Back-blogging Part 1

As I mentioned last week, I got a bit behind on blogging because of the craft fair. To remedy the record, I will be doing a bit of back-blogging to catch up. Nothing much happens in January anyways, besides making goals for the new year (which is no small thing, but it isn't overpowering enough for me to not have time to catch up).

In addition to cold weather, November brought us a bed.

Remember how I got rid of it earlier this year so we would have more space in the apartment?

I thought we would be moving to a new apartment sooner.

When we decided we wouldn't be, that futon started to get seriously uncomfortable.

So now we sleep on a pillow top and if it wasn't for a 7 month old,

I won't name any names,

we would be sleeping like babies.

huzzah for beds!

PS I just got an early birthday gift to cover that bed! Pics to come. Thanks DAD!

picking up where I left off

I didn't get the chance to record the last 3 months of 2011 the way I would have liked. My plan for the next week is to remedy that. I will be recapping the last few months in picture with a light commentary, that way I don't get behind on the exciting new year ahead of us. In the mean time, hop over to my friend MARA'S blog:

www.ablogaboutlove.com

Her blog is bit of an inspiration. She has been through a great deal in her life and has managed to shine through it all. Go find out how and also read about my rad husband in today's post!!!

(photo taken by Kent B. Aussie extraordinaire....that comment, should he ever see it, should annoy the hell out of him:)

when you have no other choice, you walk.....

We spent Christmas in Texas with my parents. Pete loves visiting the grandparents. Now we are home, back to normal life in Brooklyn. Part of our normal life is walking....everywhere. We don't have a car so we don't drive. If we need to go somewhere, we walk or take a subway. Something that is a walkable distance for us is in 3 miles or less range though walks that long usually involve a stroller for the boys. It is not uncommon for Pete to run errands with me and walk or ride his balance bike a mile or two. This morning, we walked to the post office (0.7 miles away). The following conversation ensued.

PETE: I don't want to walk mom, my legs will be so tired.

ME: I know Pete, but we are back in Brooklyn now, that's how we get around, we use our legs.

PETE: Can we take the bike mom?

ME: No, because only one boy can fit on the bike and we have two boys.

PETE: Can we take the stroller mom?

ME: It doesn't fit in the post office very well.

PETE: Can we text Emily and she can watch Gus and then we can take the bike?

ME: No bud, she is getting ready to go to the dentist this morning, hurry up because we need to get home soon so Avery can come up and play while Emily is at the dentist.

PETE: I don't like this mom.

ME: What don't you like sweetheart?

PETE: I don't want to walk. I want to go to Texas where it's easier.

ME: Why is it easier in Texas?

PETE: Because it's not in New York.

He later went on to discuss the bumpiness of the roads in NY versus the non-bumpiness of the roads at grammy and pappis house. For some reason, that is a big deal for him. He cheered up as we walked though. He is a good little walker. I am not sure I know many children, 3 year olds at that, who are willing to walk so far, even in NY. When Pete is in a good mood, and he usually is, he is the best little companion to take on errands. He is so 'helpy'.

*****image from Bryant Park Carousel right before Christmas 2011, P-money baby cakes and I have an affinity for carousels.

Guest Etiquette

A good guideline for rules to follow when staying in someone else's home:

1) Put all your trash in the garbage. Between books on the bookcase is not an acceptable location for empty chip bags. Out of sight, out of mind is not acceptable when you are staying in someone else's home. What you do with your garbage at home is your own business. In the mean time, walk the 5' to the trash can (because in my tiny apartment, you are never more than 5' from a trash can) and put your chip bags, your candy wrappers, all of them, your plastic shopping bags, etc, in the trash, not under the couch, not under the vacuum, not under the quilts, not in the blanket basket above the bookcase, and certainly not in between the books on the shelf.

2) Unless you have been given express permission, do not eat their food. There are few instances when you should feel free to eat whatever you want at someone else's home. One is when you are at your parents' home. Another is if you are close friends and you know for a fact they won't care (ladies, you know who you are, you have keys to my apartment, that means I trust you to respect my stuff and as such you have free reign to whatever you need). If you do take food, you replace it, its that simple. I'm not saying that if you take a handful of chips or crackers or a scoop of peanut butter you need to replace it. But if you eat a few cans of tuna, you make soup with their pantry items, you pop their popcorn, you eat all the eggs, you replace it. Its just good manners, especially when you have led them to believe you will be doing nothing but sleeping at their home, not making 5 course meals with their pantry storage items.

3) Clean up your dishes/appliances/etc. If you use it, you clean it. Not rinse it off, not wipe it off, you clean it. You clean it cleaner than you found it. Don't leave grease in the new panini maker, don't leave dried burned food in the pans, if your 'popcorn' burns and explodes in the microwave, you scrub that thing until it is clean. If there are greasy finger prints on dishes, then you didn't clean them, if there are chunks of food on a dish or appliance, it is not clean. Leave things they way you found them at least, and even better, leave it better than you found it.

4) If you break it, replace it. If you break a mug, do not send a text saying, "Hey, we broke a mug, hope it wasn't your favorite." You leave a note of apology and a new mug or money to replace it. If you break a piece of the toaster, you do not just replace it in the cupboard and make it look like you didn't do it but that you found it that way.

5) If it is still in the shrink wrap, its off limits. They may have told you, "feel free to watch movies in the evenings when you get back from sight seeing". But if they have the new Harry Potter 8-disc set on DVD and it is still in the shrink wrap, don't touch it. They just bought it. They might even have received it as a gift from a very loving husband as an early Christmas and they haven't had a chance to watch it. (Given by a husband who loathes Harry Potter, that is real love)

6) Take all your belongings with you. Everything you bring, take with you home. The hostess does not want your towel, your travel shampoo, or your half used travel deodorant. If you don't want it, throw it out, don't leave it for them to deal with.

7) If you really want to WOW! leave a gift. Gal pal Val is the best at gifts. She gives small thoughtful gifts for everything. Hostess gifts. 'Thanks for throwing me a baby shower' gifts. 'I was thinking of you' gifts. They are never over the top. They are never pretentious. They are simple and meaningful. They let you know she appreciated whatever it was you did. Take your cue from Valerie, leave a gift from your adventures in the big apple (or wherever it was you were visiting) and find yourself among the gold medalists of house guests.

If you follow this basic list, I think you can bet that if you ask to stay again, the host would be more than pleased to allow you to stay. If you don't, then don't expect anything. Don't even expect a response to texts. They might be trying really hard not to loose their cool with you and demand you remedy the situation by replacing all the broken items and the pantry items and paying to have the apartment deep cleaned. All you will get from them is a short response, not rude, polite but to the point, indicating that the need for further contact is not necessary.

well where do you live????

Andy: "Hey Pete, do you know your address? Where do you live?"

Pete: "I live at: #1 Awesome."

true story

you have two choices.....

Pete: "mom, you have two choices. You can go to time out, or you can turn the show back on for me."

You can bet he didn't expect me to laugh him to scorn.

Etsy Shop is FULL!!!!!

the craft fair went great

and now

the shop is

LOADED!!!!

orders made before the 15th will make it in time for Christmas!

*****earrings and t-shirt necklace/scarves will be posted on Monday******

unless USPS does their job

I ran out of book thread

though I have about 7 more journals to be sewn

so unless the thread I ordered arrives soon

(according to tracking, it arrived in Brooklyn 2 days ago, yet to be delivered by USPS)

I have nothing left to do

every other journal is sewn

every earring glued

every scarf ripped and sewn

and we even have leather scrap cuffs for fun

wait, that little stack of three journals....

they need spoons pounded for closures

BUT THEN

I have nothing left to do

*********fingers super ultra crossed that the thread comes today!!!!!***********

www.southslopecraftfair.com

My little model

P-money baby cakes modeling one of my jersey circle scarves.

And I hammered my finger today.

It is covered in busted blood vessels.

Oh the hazards of craft fair prep.

a good reason to come to Brooklyn

I am really jazzed about the craft fair this year

not just about my own crafting wares

but I looked at the other vendors on the list

and there are already a few things I am anxious to see

and then of course

purchase!

come if you can

if you can't

but you have friends who might be in the area

pass this along!

Its coming up quick!!!

Thanksgiving was a nice break

a nice breather

a chance for my sore fingers to rest

I even took yesterday off

I napped

I lounged with the boys

but today

I get busy again

1.5 weeks away friends

we are down to the end of this

COME OUT IF YOU CAN!!!!!!!

A different perspective

Your going along in life, and you get used to the way things look. Then all of a sudden, you sit up and it's all new again. We have a sitting boy....time is playing a cruel joke on me. Even though I am sad the new born is going, I am excited for what I know is to come.

It looks like I am holding his back, but I'm not. He is doing it on his own, 100%. I am just the safety net.

On Mondays.....

I never go to work, on Tuesdays, I stay at home, on Wednesdays I never feel inclined, work is the last thing on my mind. On Thursdays, it's a holiday! And Fridays I detest. Oh it's much too late on a Saturday, and Sunday's the day of rest. But today, I am getting work done! 4 weeks until the craft fair, and only 3 working weeks left since I will be taking Thanksgiving off in NC, as is tradition. I will have pie on the mind, not leather journals and earrings. It's a pie off my friends, a pie off.

new gal in town

I am keenly interested in new motherhood

its a big change

people always tell you that having kids is life changing

good change and not so good change

but I don't think one can realize exactly how changing it can be until it is experienced

I know it was a bit of a slap in the face when we had Pete

and lets be serious

also when we had Gus

anyways

I like seeing how each individual takes on the change

I have a ton of new mom friends

even mom's that just had a second baby

(which, come on ladies, is a whole new experience, right)

so it is very much in the forefront of my mind right now

well

gal pal Val had a baby

E is a month old now

and Val has been blogging a bit about it

not exclusively about the baby

but since she is pretty time consuming

it seems natural that she is the topic of conversation much of the time

but this isn't your regular "E pooped all over today" type posts

they are thoughtfully refreshing

and seem to articulate much of what I feel

but fail to explain

check it out

Smart, for a Girl

photo by Michelle Walker

I stole it from Valerie's blog

What I did and am doing these weeks

As you may have noticed, I am taking a little break from my 'what I did this week' posts. Why? Well the craft fair is coming up, and with what little extra time I have, I am getting ready for that. Don't expect to hear much from me for a bit. I'll be in and out. It will be random. I may even post on the things I am working on for the fair. In the mean time, happy 'fall back time' weekend. Don't forget those clocks. We get an extra hour of sleep Saturday night. Now if only someone would tell my boys that......

For my mom

My mom made sleeping owl hats for Gus and sweet baby K. They turned out perfect. These two are so cute it makes me want to barf feathers....what? I have no idea what that was. It's late and I'm sick. This is for you mom. The hats turned out cute.

every year.....

at this time every year

I always wonder what happened to August

and I wonder why we didn't hang out more

at this time every year

we start making tons of soup

and commenting on the autumnal hues life takes on

at this time every year

we open up our windows again

we start to really breathe again

at this time every year

I am mildly annoyed

that pie genius goes unnoticed

yet again

I'm only kidding...but on the square

at this time every year

the illness tracks us down and infects

we run fevers

we are congested

and sometimes we throw up

this year has lived up to my expectations

fall in NYC is just as awesome and miserable as all previous years

but as I sit in a sea of mucus and snot filled tissues

I still can't help absolutely loving this

For the Grandmas

a little superman having too much fun

Pete has been doing research all month for his role as Superman

when the big day came

(Halloween)

he dressed in shirt and cape
(not unlike every other day this month)

and at his first day of soccer class

as his teacher called role

he refused to tell her his 'real' name

all he would say was that his name was Superman

and for all intents and purposes

I guess that was his real name

........on pie

Sour cream apple with walnut crumble topping. Failed pie attempt. Tasted great, looked awful. Chili pie cook off in 2 days......wish me luck... Unless of course you are the competition, in which case....I'll see you Saturday night.

clothing swap gold

Found this knit pumpkin hat at our park slope ward clothing swap.

So *(insert your favorite profanity here)* cute.

Have a good autumnal weekend.

Moving on...

Why do we hold on to clothing we never wear? You know you do it. I do it too. You think maybe you like it, maybe it will fit in a few months, or you are holding onto it for "fat days", or you just plain like it but can't seem to ever make it work for you. These are all my reasons for keeping things that I never wear. It's a bothersome habit I have.

We had a clothing swap in my LDS ward this past week and I was honest and brutal with myself. If I wasn't wearing it, someone else would, and possibly someone who needed it more than me.

Have you been a part of a clothing swap? Everyone brings clothing they don't wear but is in good condition. Then you pick through and take home 'new' items from your friends. Leftover clothing is donated. Great for cleaning out your closet and letting go. Also great for your wallet. 'New' clothes for free. If you haven't been to one, organize one yourself. They are fun. Set up a mirror and an area to try on your finds. Have your friends bring snacks and you have yourself a party.

Happy Birthday to a Man......

When I was in college, before Andy and I were "dating", I had a dream one night that I married Andy's dad. I took this as a sign that somehow, some way, I would be a part of the Donkin family.

I remember when I first met Russ, Andy's dad, I was a little surprised with how much he looked like the man in my dream. I attribute that to the fact that I think Andy and his dad look similar. I was probably in reality having a dream about a much older Andy. If Andy looks half as good as his dad at that age, I will be one lucky woman. With each gray hair Andy gets, I fall deeper and deeper in love. Not that my love is based on the color of his hair, but it sure makes him more attractive to me (if that were even possible, *wink*).

I also remember that Russ reminded me a lot of my own dad. Even though we never talked much, I felt an instant connection to Andy's dad. Because he reminded me of my dad so much, I felt like I could trust him, look up to him, and seek his counsel if I needed.

On this day, many years ago, this man was born, and good thing he was, because he has influenced the most important and best years of my life. Andy is one of the best men I know. He works really hard for our family, he loves God and takes his church service seriously, he is witty and funny, he is a thinker, he loves family, and he loves Idaho. He learned all this from someone. Russ, I am willing to bet all the contents of my wallet it was you!

so here is to the man

the father of my husband

the grandfather of my boys

the introducer of Sponge Bob

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSS!

Best thing ever

We got P-nut a balance bike for his birthday. Best $$$ we have ever spent. Pete rides it every time we leave the house. He can go fast to boot. I can walk at my normal quick NYC pace and he easily keeps ups and even goes faster. He can also go really far. We went to the botanical gardens the other day and he rode the whole way there and back, 4 miles round trip. Basically, I think I love Pete's bike more than even he does. Seriously, best $$$ spent on a toddler ever.

* I like to use $$$ when talking money. It's more hip, like Snoop Dogg.

.......on becoming a man

Andy took Pete camping a couple weekends ago

A friend and his son went with them

fun was had

but a realization too

though they appear to be "big boys" now

there is still a healthy dose of baby in there

and that's ok

its just good to remember

G-money and I had Friday night to ourselves

I had grand plans

however

I squandered my "freedom"

catching up on this season new shows on Hulu

I loathe myself for it

simply loathe myself

onward and upward

:)

*emoticons, that will be the first and last you see from me