Daydreaming Radishes and Dandelions

Valentines Day OR Post Pukefest 2012

2012-02-15T17:24:00.001-05:00

Why hello there, yes, I did. I had a wonderful day of love. I loved not puking, I loved no food, I tried to love watching Downton Abbey but was never able to get to it (maybe tonight), I loved mocking a 'lovey' movie with Andy until we actual thought we would puke so we turned it off, and I loved the tulips that were delivered to 'my dearest, love.....your love'. That last bit makes any Pukefest worth it as long as you are here with me in mind.

Ticker Tape Parade

2012-02-08T03:02:00.000-05:00

Giants won the Super Bowl

so we went to the ticker tape parade

a NYC tradition

From Wikipedia:

"The term originated in New York City after a spontaneous celebration held on October 28, 1886 during the dedication of the Statue of Liberty,^[1] and is still most closely associated with New York City. The term ticker-tape originally referred to the use of the paper output of ticker tape machines, which were remotely-driven devices used in brokerages to provide updated stock market quotes. Nowadays, the paper products are largely waste office paper that have been cut using conventional paper shredders. The city also distributes paper confetti.^[2]"

what I found out this past weekend

2012-02-07T14:41:00.004-05:00

I found out a few surprising things this weekend.

Here they are in no particular order of surprise-ity:

1) Apparently our subletters left another little surprise on my kitchen aid. They used the kitchen aid mixer (which I clean meticulously after each use) to make a box of brownies from our pantry (who uses a mixer for boxed brownies?). The kitchen aid bowl was 'glued' to the kitchen aid with a glob of brownie chocolate and the mixing paddles were very poorly washed, meaning there was dried chocolate all over it. Thanks subletters, thanks.

2) I really really really ridiculously like bacon when it is wrapped around a jalapeno that has been stuffed with cream cheese (well done Andy, the deliciousness still lingers in my senses)

3) Even though Gus is almost 8 months old, when I eat chocolate, it still bothers him. But to the Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake that I made: YOU WERE WORTH IT!

4) I will walk really really far for cheese...10 pounds to be exact. When Saturday began, we had no cheese and that had been the state of our home for about a week. Unnerving. By the end of Saturday, we remedied that 10 fold. ( I am not entirely sure '10 fold' is an accurate representation of the amount of cheese, I don't know what a fold is, but I think going from no cheese to 10 pounds is considerable and delightful.....though, this information shocked gal pal Val.)

5) Andy attended cheer camp when he was in high school.

What we do when temps reach 50 degrees

2012-02-07T03:58:00.001-05:00

Back-blogging Part 6

2012-02-02T01:03:00.001-05:00

trains and planes

nothing makes P-money happier

we did a bit of both while in Texas

I tried avoiding this little train trolley in the mall

but Pete spotted it with his eagle eye

and nothing could dissuade him from riding it

so we gave in naturally

but seriously, he was sick and weak and we did pretty much whatever he wanted

the flight home

believe it or not

was perfect

seamless

everything went really well

our bags weren't over weight

the boys slept a bunch

our long layover in Milwaukee was actually very pleasant

I think I fell asleep on the floor with Gus for a few minutes too

it only took about 10 minutes to retrieve our bags from baggage claim

(a tiny miracle, I once waited 3 hours, not uncommon at JFK or LGA)

best part

we called a car to take us home

we didn't even consider taking the train home

totally worth the money

the only hiccup was when we got home as saw what the subletters left us

but you know all about that

PS Happy Groundhogs Day

anyone else think of Bill Murray on this day?

I always do

I also think how much I would hate to repeat February 2 over and over again

now lets say it was July 4th

I would repeat that day for life

it there a better day all year????

I think not.

Back-blogging Part 5

2012-02-01T03:54:00.000-05:00

Christmas in Texas

both boys had fevers

Pete ultimately had a double ear infection

pretty much sick the whole trip

but we managed a few fun things

like Canton Trade Days

(ie craft, antiques, flea market carnival)

and plenty of carousel rides

I didn't think anyone else liked carousels as much as me

until I met Pete

also rad to see my older brother

his beautiful wife

and his super lovable little boy

who looks like a blond hair blue eyed version of my Mexican looking brother

(even though he isn't Mexican in the least)

PS thanks for the carousel token Krystal, it looks like Gus is on his was to loving carousels as much as the rest of us.

the natives were restless last night

2012-01-31T10:14:00.006-05:00

If there is excitement to be had on our city block, it is had at the house across the street. Last night at approximately 8PM, Andy ran into the kitchen to grab his phone. He declared he was calling the police. Apparently a man accompanied by 3 or 4 other men had kicked in the door of the house across street. Upon breaking and then entering, he punched another man in the mouth. An older man. Mild brawling and profane yelling ensued as they left the house and returned to their own home 4 DOORS DOWN. Apparently earlier in the evening, a man (who doesn't live in the house across the street, but is the father of a little boy that lives there) knifed (or crow bared) another man from the house on the corner in the face. While things like this are not uncommon between these two warring houses on our block, this was the most invasive and back handed I have seen and it was a tad unnerving. I almost prefer the all out 20 man (and woman) brawls of summer nights past.

The worst part about it all has nothing to do with these "adults" and their fights. It has to do with the little 2 year old girl in the house across the street that is often left alone without her mother. The same mother who was gone when the angry man broke in. Or the unborn baby in that very mother who will be raised in such chaos. Raised by who? I don't know. The mother is never there. According to a reliable resource, she is gone for unknown amounts of time doing who knows what, and it definitely isn't work. She is a young girl. Can't be more than her early 20s. The very worst part, I know a home that would eagerly take in those children, call them their own, and be with them always, never leaving them alone, loving them, kissing them, providing for them a happy and safe life. But what can you do......? What? My heart is broken about the whole thing. I have on more than one occasion witnessed small children outside that house with their "parents" in the midst of one of these late night "heated discussions". These children will grow up thinking this is life. And maybe for some it is, but it breaks my heart. It makes me hold my own children closer, inspires me to never raise my voice, to spend more time with them, to teach them and love them. But still, I have an heavy emptiness in my stomach when I think of those children so close to me but indefinitely out of my reach.

By the way, you may remember that Sam & Gayle (some of my very favorite people and as it turns out I am lucky enough to call them family) almost adopted this last summer. After having the newborn baby with them for 10 days, the birth mother decided she wanted the baby back, hours before she was going before a judge to give up rights to the baby. I don't think I have to tell you how heartbreaking that must have been for them. I know that their plead is the same and similar to many already out there on blogs and websites, but if you or anyone you know has found themselves in a situation where they need to find a home for their child, please consider Sam & Gayle. I know of no one better to give your child a very good life full of love and laughter.

PS I know this post makes it sound like we live in a dangerous neighborhood. I assure you we don't. Most of my neighbors are perfectly friendly even if they do tend to be the loud Brooklyn sort. Perfectly harmless in the midst of their yelling profanities. I realize this isn't helping my "safe neighborhood" case, but I assure you it is....hahaha, I don't think this is helping. I can see my mom and mother in law cringing as they read this post.

some things to read

2012-01-28T03:50:00.000-05:00

Here are some things I have been reading lately that you should read too:

1) Amazing story HERE

He said he was leaving and she ignored it

(link found through Design MOM)

2) Everything on Mara's blog

www.ablogaboutlove.com

but particularly the stories AND comments on internet and marriage

so brave to share what some have shared

even the anonymous comments

3) James is my favorite writer

someone should give him a job writing

and world peace would ensue

http://bottomlesslakes.blogspot.com/

he has a few funny on going posts

one with Edie, his 3+ month old

and another new one

a romance novel

go have yourself a laugh

a dark, ironic, and lighthearted laugh

Back-blogging Part 5

2012-01-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

I signed Pete up for a soccer class the last couple months of 2011. I thought he would love it. Remember how his first day he wouldn't answer to anything but Superman? Well, that was the cutest thing ever and it was downhill from there. He became belligerent about the superman thing and he refused to play soccer without his cape. But just because he was wearing the cape didn't mean he would play soccer. He would kick and scream and cry the whole time. No amount of bribes or threats could persuade him. Eventually Andy or I would get up and play. I mean, we were paying for the class, so someone was going to learn soccer. And on a few occasions, Pete would come out and play with us, and we could slowly melt back into the sidelines.

The frustrating thing about the whole situation is that I saw myself in Pete. I saw myself scared to put myself in a situation I am unfamiliar with. I saw myself scared to try something new. I saw myself begging my mom to come with me or do it for me. I saw all my insecurities and apprehensions in my sweet little boy. But what I also saw was what I didn't see as a child. That Pete was safe, that I wasn't leaving him, that he could go out there and look like a fool because every other 3 year old in the class looked like a fool too. I could see that Pete would have a great deal of fun if he just gave it a try. I wish my 3 year old self could have seen that because maybe she would have done more as a child or experienced less anxiety growing up.

The most frustrating thing about it is that I didn't handle it well. I didn't give Pete what I would have wanted as a child. I didn't give him a break. I didn't comfort him. I tried nice for about a minute and then I gave into my frustrations and didn't keep it from Pete. I did it because I was mad that he was experiencing my anxieties. I wish I hadn't done that. It exacerbated the issue, and more than that, it made Pete feel uncertain of his position with me. He felt scared and vulnerable and I gave him no cushion to feel safe on.

The odd thing about this is that I could see how safe Pete was and how ridiculous he was being. But even still I get anxious about new situations, I want a safety net or I want someone to do it for me, to take the edge off, to shield me from uncomfortable situations. But I bet my future self would look back on my younger self and wish I hadn't been so guarded and anxious. I can't expect Pete to jump in if I can't do it myself still. I can't be mad at Pete because I am really frustrated with myself. I can only push myself out of my comfort zone, not Pete. Because if he is anything like me (and as it turns out, in some respects he is), it will only backfire. All I can do is provide a safe zone for Pete to explore until he is ready to broaden his horizon a little more.

It's alarming and enlightening what your children will reveal about you, what stories they will repeat, what memories they will uncover.

Back-blogging Part 4

2012-01-26T10:20:00.001-05:00

Christmas with kids is a whole new experience

its magical again

every Christmas light

every red bow

anything evergreen

brings out in Pete excited exclamations

I find myself catching his Christmas energy

his delight at the seeing the tree at Rockefeller Plaza was satisfying

and when we took him to see Santa at ABC Home

he got straight down to business letting Santa know what he wanted for Christmas

I thought for sure he would clam up

but he surprised us

PS isn't this Santa magical? He is real too, I mean real real. He flew home in his sleigh after his shift at ABC home. It was a week before Christmas and I am sure he had to check the list one last time before he started delivering gifts to children.

Shop Updates

2012-01-25T11:50:00.002-05:00

many more to post, but this is a start

look for more to come!

www.daydreamshandmade.etsy.com

Hands

2012-01-25T10:48:00.003-05:00

I remember as a child loving to sit next to my mom at church. I loved to look at her hands. I would hold them in my hands and admire her nails, feel how soft her hands were, and how pretty her gold wedding ring looked against her olive skin. I remember she used to flatten my hand, palm side up. Then softly with her pinky finger, she would circle in my palm while saying

"ring around the rosy, like a teddy bear, one step (lightly pinching my wrist) two step (lightly pinching my elbow pit), tickle you under there (tickling my armpit)"

She also taught me the hand rhyme

"here's the church, here's the steeple, open it up and there's all the people
clothes the doors and hear them pray, open them up and they all run away"

I loved playing these quiet little games with my mom. Mostly because I loved her hands. I remember hoping that when I grew up my hands would be a pretty as my moms hands.

I used to love to watch her hands as she would sew or play the piano. I loved how quickly they moved and how they seem to have a life of their own. They were fine tuned for the task at hand. I also hoped my hands would be as skilled as my mom's hands one day. With her hands, she made me (and my siblings) everything. She almost always made us dinner from scratch. She made us clothing for school, church, and summer trips. I have many memories of things my mom has made for me with her hands.

Some of my most vivid memories of my mother's hands have no words to describe. They are felt. The way they felt on my fevered head or back when I was sick. I remember how they felt when she would braid my hair when I was really young. I remember how kind they felt, how comfortable and familiar they felt. I remember how safe they felt. Sensory memories are so strong but are often so hard to describe.

I don't think my hands look quite like my mom's do. But everyday, I like to think that I try to do things with my hands that she did and does with hers. I am hoping that by doing so, my hands will one day look like hers. I hope that one day my children will think of my hands doing such thoughtful and meaningful things for them as my mother did for me. I hope they think as fondly on my hands as I do on my mother's.

Happy Birthday Mom (Gramie).

We love you.

We miss you.

We hope your day is blessed,

just as you have blessed our lives.

Back-blogging Part 3

2012-01-24T10:09:00.002-05:00

South Slope Craft Fair

It went well

well enough for me to get one of.......

THESE!!!!!!!!

I have already used it a few times

I am in love

don't know why I waited so long to get one

I still have no idea what I am doing

but I excited to see what I do with it this year

Back-blogging Part 2

2012-01-19T06:09:00.001-05:00

Thanksgiving found us road tripping down to NC to be with old friends.

BFF high fives all around!!!

What? No high five?

Well... you owe me five.

PS have you ever been on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel?

It's trippy. You are on a bridge one minute, a tunnel the next, all over water for about a 20 minute drive. Kind of like a slow motion roller coaster in the comfort of your car and the danger of an angry sea all around you (or an angry bay???). Totally worth the $12 toll, which, as it turns out, is chump change compared to the lame-o bridges you cross here in NYC and have to pay same amount or more. Except, of course, for the Brooklyn Bridge which is free and amazing.

Back-blogging Part 1

2012-01-18T17:51:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned last week, I got a bit behind on blogging because of the craft fair. To remedy the record, I will be doing a bit of back-blogging to catch up. Nothing much happens in January anyways, besides making goals for the new year (which is no small thing, but it isn't overpowering enough for me to not have time to catch up).

In addition to cold weather, November brought us a bed.

Remember how I got rid of it earlier this year so we would have more space in the apartment?

I thought we would be moving to a new apartment sooner.

When we decided we wouldn't be, that futon started to get seriously uncomfortable.

So now we sleep on a pillow top and if it wasn't for a 7 month old,

I won't name any names,

we would be sleeping like babies.

huzzah for beds!

PS I just got an early birthday gift to cover that bed! Pics to come. Thanks DAD!

picking up where I left off

2012-01-12T08:28:00.003-05:00

I didn't get the chance to record the last 3 months of 2011 the way I would have liked. My plan for the next week is to remedy that. I will be recapping the last few months in picture with a light commentary, that way I don't get behind on the exciting new year ahead of us. In the mean time, hop over to my friend MARA'S blog:

www.ablogaboutlove.com

Her blog is bit of an inspiration. She has been through a great deal in her life and has managed to shine through it all. Go find out how and also read about my rad husband in today's post!!!

(photo taken by Kent B. Aussie extraordinaire....that comment, should he ever see it, should annoy the hell out of him:)

when you have no other choice, you walk.....

2012-01-11T11:06:00.005-05:00

We spent Christmas in Texas with my parents. Pete loves visiting the grandparents. Now we are home, back to normal life in Brooklyn. Part of our normal life is walking....everywhere. We don't have a car so we don't drive. If we need to go somewhere, we walk or take a subway. Something that is a walkable distance for us is in 3 miles or less range though walks that long usually involve a stroller for the boys. It is not uncommon for Pete to run errands with me and walk or ride his balance bike a mile or two. This morning, we walked to the post office (0.7 miles away). The following conversation ensued.

PETE: I don't want to walk mom, my legs will be so tired.
ME: I know Pete, but we are back in Brooklyn now, that's how we get around, we use our legs.
PETE: Can we take the bike mom?
ME: No, because only one boy can fit on the bike and we have two boys.
PETE: Can we take the stroller mom?
ME: It doesn't fit in the post office very well.
PETE: Can we text Emily and she can watch Gus and then we can take the bike?
ME: No bud, she is getting ready to go to the dentist this morning, hurry up because we need to get home soon so Avery can come up and play while Emily is at the dentist.
PETE: I don't like this mom.
ME: What don't you like sweetheart?
PETE: I don't want to walk. I want to go to Texas where it's easier.
ME: Why is it easier in Texas?
PETE: Because it's not in New York.

He later went on to discuss the bumpiness of the roads in NY versus the non-bumpiness of the roads at grammy and pappis house. For some reason, that is a big deal for him. He cheered up as we walked though. He is a good little walker. I am not sure I know many children, 3 year olds at that, who are willing to walk so far, even in NY. When Pete is in a good mood, and he usually is, he is the best little companion to take on errands. He is so 'helpy'.

*****image from Bryant Park Carousel right before Christmas 2011, P-money baby cakes and I have an affinity for carousels.

Guest Etiquette

2012-01-10T11:05:00.003-05:00

A good guideline for rules to follow when staying in someone else's home:

1) Put all your trash in the garbage. Between books on the bookcase is not an acceptable location for empty chip bags. Out of sight, out of mind is not acceptable when you are staying in someone else's home. What you do with your garbage at home is your own business. In the mean time, walk the 5' to the trash can (because in my tiny apartment, you are never more than 5' from a trash can) and put your chip bags, your candy wrappers, all of them, your plastic shopping bags, etc, in the trash, not under the couch, not under the vacuum, not under the quilts, not in the blanket basket above the bookcase, and certainly not in between the books on the shelf.

2) Unless you have been given express permission, do not eat their food. There are few instances when you should feel free to eat whatever you want at someone else's home. One is when you are at your parents' home. Another is if you are close friends and you know for a fact they won't care (ladies, you know who you are, you have keys to my apartment, that means I trust you to respect my stuff and as such you have free reign to whatever you need). If you do take food, you replace it, its that simple. I'm not saying that if you take a handful of chips or crackers or a scoop of peanut butter you need to replace it. But if you eat a few cans of tuna, you make soup with their pantry items, you pop their popcorn, you eat all the eggs, you replace it. Its just good manners, especially when you have led them to believe you will be doing nothing but sleeping at their home, not making 5 course meals with their pantry storage items.

3) Clean up your dishes/appliances/etc. If you use it, you clean it. Not rinse it off, not wipe it off, you clean it. You clean it cleaner than you found it. Don't leave grease in the new panini maker, don't leave dried burned food in the pans, if your 'popcorn' burns and explodes in the microwave, you scrub that thing until it is clean. If there are greasy finger prints on dishes, then you didn't clean them, if there are chunks of food on a dish or appliance, it is not clean. Leave things they way you found them at least, and even better, leave it better than you found it.

4) If you break it, replace it. If you break a mug, do not send a text saying, "Hey, we broke a mug, hope it wasn't your favorite." You leave a note of apology and a new mug or money to replace it. If you break a piece of the toaster, you do not just replace it in the cupboard and make it look like you didn't do it but that you found it that way.

5) If it is still in the shrink wrap, its off limits. They may have told you, "feel free to watch movies in the evenings when you get back from sight seeing". But if they have the new Harry Potter 8-disc set on DVD and it is still in the shrink wrap, don't touch it. They just bought it. They might even have received it as a gift from a very loving husband as an early Christmas and they haven't had a chance to watch it. (Given by a husband who loathes Harry Potter, that is real love)

6) Take all your belongings with you. Everything you bring, take with you home. The hostess does not want your towel, your travel shampoo, or your half used travel deodorant. If you don't want it, throw it out, don't leave it for them to deal with.

7) If you really want to WOW! leave a gift. Gal pal Val is the best at gifts. She gives small thoughtful gifts for everything. Hostess gifts. 'Thanks for throwing me a baby shower' gifts. 'I was thinking of you' gifts. They are never over the top. They are never pretentious. They are simple and meaningful. They let you know she appreciated whatever it was you did. Take your cue from Valerie, leave a gift from your adventures in the big apple (or wherever it was you were visiting) and find yourself among the gold medalists of house guests.

If you follow this basic list, I think you can bet that if you ask to stay again, the host would be more than pleased to allow you to stay. If you don't, then don't expect anything. Don't even expect a response to texts. They might be trying really hard not to loose their cool with you and demand you remedy the situation by replacing all the broken items and the pantry items and paying to have the apartment deep cleaned. All you will get from them is a short response, not rude, polite but to the point, indicating that the need for further contact is not necessary.

well where do you live????

2011-12-16T15:42:00.000-05:00

Andy: "Hey Pete, do you know your address? Where do you live?"

Pete: "I live at: #1 Awesome."

true story

you have two choices.....

2011-12-15T15:37:00.001-05:00

Pete: "mom, you have two choices. You can go to time out, or you can turn the show back on for me."

You can bet he didn't expect me to laugh him to scorn.

Etsy Shop is FULL!!!!!

2011-12-10T23:04:00.004-05:00

the craft fair went great

and now

the shop is

LOADED!!!!

orders made before the 15th will make it in time for Christmas!

*****earrings and t-shirt necklace/scarves will be posted on Monday******

unless USPS does their job

2011-12-08T13:40:00.005-05:00

I ran out of book thread

though I have about 7 more journals to be sewn

so unless the thread I ordered arrives soon

(according to tracking, it arrived in Brooklyn 2 days ago, yet to be delivered by USPS)

I have nothing left to do

every other journal is sewn

every earring glued

every scarf ripped and sewn

and we even have leather scrap cuffs for fun

wait, that little stack of three journals....

they need spoons pounded for closures

BUT THEN

I have nothing left to do

*********fingers super ultra crossed that the thread comes today!!!!!***********

www.southslopecraftfair.com

My little model

2011-12-06T17:11:00.002-05:00

P-money baby cakes modeling one of my jersey circle scarves.

And I hammered my finger today.

It is covered in busted blood vessels.

Oh the hazards of craft fair prep.

a good reason to come to Brooklyn

2011-12-06T08:57:00.002-05:00

I am really jazzed about the craft fair this year

not just about my own crafting wares

but I looked at the other vendors on the list

and there are already a few things I am anxious to see

and then of course

purchase!

come if you can

if you can't

but you have friends who might be in the area

pass this along!

Its coming up quick!!!

2011-11-30T09:55:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving was a nice break

a nice breather

a chance for my sore fingers to rest

I even took yesterday off

I napped

I lounged with the boys

but today

I get busy again

1.5 weeks away friends

we are down to the end of this

COME OUT IF YOU CAN!!!!!!!

A different perspective

2011-11-18T13:36:00.001-05:00

Your going along in life, and you get used to the way things look. Then all of a sudden, you sit up and it's all new again. We have a sitting boy....time is playing a cruel joke on me. Even though I am sad the new born is going, I am excited for what I know is to come.

It looks like I am holding his back, but I'm not. He is doing it on his own, 100%. I am just the safety net.

On Mondays.....

2011-11-14T10:54:00.001-05:00

I never go to work, on Tuesdays, I stay at home, on Wednesdays I never feel inclined, work is the last thing on my mind. On Thursdays, it's a holiday! And Fridays I detest. Oh it's much too late on a Saturday, and Sunday's the day of rest. But today, I am getting work done! 4 weeks until the craft fair, and only 3 working weeks left since I will be taking Thanksgiving off in NC, as is tradition. I will have pie on the mind, not leather journals and earrings. It's a pie off my friends, a pie off.

new gal in town

2011-11-07T13:14:00.003-05:00

I am keenly interested in new motherhood

its a big change

people always tell you that having kids is life changing

good change and not so good change

but I don't think one can realize exactly how changing it can be until it is experienced

I know it was a bit of a slap in the face when we had Pete

and lets be serious

also when we had Gus

anyways

I like seeing how each individual takes on the change

I have a ton of new mom friends

even mom's that just had a second baby

(which, come on ladies, is a whole new experience, right)

so it is very much in the forefront of my mind right now

well

gal pal Val had a baby

E is a month old now

and Val has been blogging a bit about it

not exclusively about the baby

but since she is pretty time consuming

it seems natural that she is the topic of conversation much of the time

but this isn't your regular "E pooped all over today" type posts

they are thoughtfully refreshing

and seem to articulate much of what I feel

but fail to explain

check it out

Smart, for a Girl

photo by Michelle Walker

I stole it from Valerie's blog

What I did and am doing these weeks

2011-11-04T13:25:00.001-04:00

As you may have noticed, I am taking a little break from my 'what I did this week' posts. Why? Well the craft fair is coming up, and with what little extra time I have, I am getting ready for that. Don't expect to hear much from me for a bit. I'll be in and out. It will be random. I may even post on the things I am working on for the fair. In the mean time, happy 'fall back time' weekend. Don't forget those clocks. We get an extra hour of sleep Saturday night. Now if only someone would tell my boys that......

For my mom

2011-11-02T23:05:00.001-04:00

My mom made sleeping owl hats for Gus and sweet baby K. They turned out perfect. These two are so cute it makes me want to barf feathers....what? I have no idea what that was. It's late and I'm sick. This is for you mom. The hats turned out cute.

every year.....

2011-11-01T09:59:00.003-04:00

at this time every year

I always wonder what happened to August

and I wonder why we didn't hang out more

at this time every year

we start making tons of soup

and commenting on the autumnal hues life takes on

at this time every year

we open up our windows again

we start to really breathe again

at this time every year

I am mildly annoyed

that pie genius goes unnoticed

yet again

I'm only kidding...but on the square

at this time every year

the illness tracks us down and infects

we run fevers

we are congested

and sometimes we throw up

this year has lived up to my expectations

fall in NYC is just as awesome and miserable as all previous years

but as I sit in a sea of mucus and snot filled tissues

I still can't help absolutely loving this

For the Grandmas

a little superman having too much fun

Pete has been doing research all month for his role as Superman

when the big day came

(Halloween)

he dressed in shirt and cape
(not unlike every other day this month)

and at his first day of soccer class

as his teacher called role

he refused to tell her his 'real' name

all he would say was that his name was Superman

and for all intents and purposes

I guess that was his real name

........on pie

2011-10-27T10:00:00.001-04:00

Sour cream apple with walnut crumble topping. Failed pie attempt. Tasted great, looked awful. Chili pie cook off in 2 days......wish me luck... Unless of course you are the competition, in which case....I'll see you Saturday night.

clothing swap gold

2011-10-21T12:52:00.002-04:00

Found this knit pumpkin hat at our park slope ward clothing swap.

So *(insert your favorite profanity here)* cute.

Have a good autumnal weekend.

Moving on...

2011-10-20T15:59:00.001-04:00

Why do we hold on to clothing we never wear? You know you do it. I do it too. You think maybe you like it, maybe it will fit in a few months, or you are holding onto it for "fat days", or you just plain like it but can't seem to ever make it work for you. These are all my reasons for keeping things that I never wear. It's a bothersome habit I have.

We had a clothing swap in my LDS ward this past week and I was honest and brutal with myself. If I wasn't wearing it, someone else would, and possibly someone who needed it more than me.

Have you been a part of a clothing swap? Everyone brings clothing they don't wear but is in good condition. Then you pick through and take home 'new' items from your friends. Leftover clothing is donated. Great for cleaning out your closet and letting go. Also great for your wallet. 'New' clothes for free. If you haven't been to one, organize one yourself. They are fun. Set up a mirror and an area to try on your finds. Have your friends bring snacks and you have yourself a party.

Happy Birthday to a Man......

2011-10-17T13:21:00.003-04:00

When I was in college, before Andy and I were "dating", I had a dream one night that I married Andy's dad. I took this as a sign that somehow, some way, I would be a part of the Donkin family.

I remember when I first met Russ, Andy's dad, I was a little surprised with how much he looked like the man in my dream. I attribute that to the fact that I think Andy and his dad look similar. I was probably in reality having a dream about a much older Andy. If Andy looks half as good as his dad at that age, I will be one lucky woman. With each gray hair Andy gets, I fall deeper and deeper in love. Not that my love is based on the color of his hair, but it sure makes him more attractive to me (if that were even possible, *wink*).

I also remember that Russ reminded me a lot of my own dad. Even though we never talked much, I felt an instant connection to Andy's dad. Because he reminded me of my dad so much, I felt like I could trust him, look up to him, and seek his counsel if I needed.

On this day, many years ago, this man was born, and good thing he was, because he has influenced the most important and best years of my life. Andy is one of the best men I know. He works really hard for our family, he loves God and takes his church service seriously, he is witty and funny, he is a thinker, he loves family, and he loves Idaho. He learned all this from someone. Russ, I am willing to bet all the contents of my wallet it was you!

so here is to the man

the father of my husband

the grandfather of my boys

the introducer of Sponge Bob

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSS!

Best thing ever

2011-10-14T09:00:00.001-04:00

We got P-nut a balance bike for his birthday. Best $$$ we have ever spent. Pete rides it every time we leave the house. He can go fast to boot. I can walk at my normal quick NYC pace and he easily keeps ups and even goes faster. He can also go really far. We went to the botanical gardens the other day and he rode the whole way there and back, 4 miles round trip. Basically, I think I love Pete's bike more than even he does. Seriously, best $$$ spent on a toddler ever.

* I like to use $$$ when talking money. It's more hip, like Snoop Dogg.

.......on becoming a man

2011-10-14T05:37:00.000-04:00

Andy took Pete camping a couple weekends ago

A friend and his son went with them

fun was had

but a realization too

though they appear to be "big boys" now

there is still a healthy dose of baby in there

and that's ok

its just good to remember

G-money and I had Friday night to ourselves

I had grand plans

however

I squandered my "freedom"

catching up on this season new shows on Hulu

I loathe myself for it

simply loathe myself

onward and upward

*emoticons, that will be the first and last you see from me

um.....Pete?

2011-10-13T08:16:00.000-04:00

the other day during dinner

I had to go nurse Gus

(ugh, Gus won't let me hold him when he nurses

we have to lay down on the ground)

leaving Pete in the kitchen to eat his dinner

it soon became very quiet

too quiet

Gus fell asleep while on the job

so I went to check on Pete

when I saw he wasn't at his chair

my heart stopped for a second

our apartment is painfully small

where could he be?

did he go out the door without telling me?

it would be odd that I didn't notice

the door creaks

where IS he????!!!?!?!??!!

(these are the thoughts and growing alarm I had as I neared his chair)

and then I saw this

dead asleep

I scooped him up

and put him in bed

and there he slept until 7 the next morning

silly sleepy boy

Farmacy

2011-10-12T12:34:00.001-04:00

Hours before Cindy had to leave for the airport, we took a quick trip to Farmacy. An old timey soda shop in Caroll Gardens. Andy had a sundae, Pete had ice cream with sprinkles, Cindy had homemade cola, and I had peach pie. Yum. Let's go again soon.

This is my first post via iPhone. A test run so to say. We will see how it turns out.

......on turning 3

2011-10-12T08:04:00.002-04:00

P-nut turned 3 last week

not sure what happened to our baby

but he is no longer that

somewhere between month 5 in my pregnancy with Gus and now

Pete grew up a lot

he is a different boy

I am getting to know him all over again

getting to know him as a 3 year old

we had a birthday party in the park

a party for Pete includes:

balloons, candles, cake, getting dirty, and friends

success

I made Pete a superman cape

he is really into super strength, speed, and flying these days

and we got him a balance bike

which he loves

because when he goes fast

he says it looks and feels like he is flying

Grandma D, apples, and a pumpkin too

2011-10-11T07:44:00.000-04:00

Andy's mom came to Brooklyn to see us shortly after Pete was born

she came with us on Pete's first apple picking trip

we thought it was only right that she be here again

for Gus' first apple picking trip

the day was perfectly fall

overcast

cool and crisp

the smell was clean and earthy

the smell alone had me ready to pack up our apartment

and move to the county

***the chunky cowl scarf I am wearing

surprise gift from a friend in Texas

it is super rad

and I love love love it

hey Texas friend

something is coming back your way soon!

......on moving on, sort of

2011-10-03T09:49:00.001-04:00

I did a hard thing last week. I threw out all my artwork/projects (my portfolio pieces) from my interior and graphic design days. For some reason, being married 6 years sounded like a long time to me and I started looking around me to see what I have had for 6 years. What I have been moving from Idaho, to Portland, to Texas, to NYC. I have started asking myself, "why are you holding on to this?" My portfolio, battered and bruised as it was, was the last on my list of things to go through, and for good reason. I knew it would be the hardest for me to get rid of, the hardest for me to say good-bye to.

Andy and I were married the summer of 2005. He had graduated already and since accounting jobs weren't throwing themselves at him, he took a job for his dad building a cabin in Oregon (thank goodness for that). However, I still had school so I went back to Idaho and he stayed to work in Oregon. We spent our first married semester apart. In the midst of that fall semester, Andy landed an internship with PWC in NYC. It would start in January of 2006. There wasn't a question in my mind. I was pulling out of school and joining him there. It was about 60% wanting to be in the same state, even same apartment, as my new husband, and 40% the adventure and lure of NYC.

As the internship came to a close, I kind of just forgot about school and we focused on Andy's grad school goals. I worked for the next couple years to help get Andy through graduate school and then we moved back to NYC. Tthen we wanted a family and Pete came.

Throughout all this time, I would often miss school. I would think about the things I studied and wished I had had more time to finish my studies. I would wonder if I did it right, making the decisions I did. Looking at my past work was hard.

In reality, it only feels like the end because my nights and days blend into one. I am knee deep in diapers and spit up. It has a tendency to make me feel like I hit the end of the road. That is why it was so hard to throw out my past. Its something I still want, but that got put on hold. I chose to put it on hold.

I have no regrets. I love what I have done, I love where I have been, I love what I have made. And when I think that all I did is being wasted, I think again and realize it isn't. I haven't sat idle since leaving school. I have been creating non-stop. Its what I do. I may not be doing renderings of floor plans or making material lists or product redesign, but I have grown leaps and bounds in my sewing abilities. I have talked with and met many artists in the craft fairs I have done. I have been inspired by the amazing talent that surrounds me here in Brooklyn. I have an etsy shop that has done very well in its own right. I may not be designing high end living quarters, but I am still designing, I am learning, I am stretching my abilities. It is perhaps not as fast or intense as it would be if I was out there, doing it as a job. But I am ok with that. Every time Pete says, "mmmm momma this dinner is so good", "oh, that's a pretty dress mom", "you are sooo sweet mom", or "can you teach me to draw a plane mom", I know that the decisions I made, the decisions that brought me to this point are the ones I chose because I knew what I wanted. This is what I wanted.

I look forward to the day when I can go back to school and finish what I started, but in the mean time, I like what I am doing now. It won't last long, so I hope I can make the most of it. When I am off in the design biz, I bet I will look back on the simpler times, the times when I was commissioned to make dresses, making my old shirts into new small shirts for Pete, and selling my journals and t-shirts scarves in craft fairs in Brooklyn.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season,

and a time to every purpose

under heaven

..............................................................................................................................................................

Speaking of craft fairs

I am gearing up for this one again

a big feat for me since I just had a baby

and juggling two kids is quite the task

wish me luck

what I did this week

2011-09-30T09:29:00.000-04:00

rise and shout

this was an old BYU shirt my dad used to wear in college

I too used to wear it in college

and it has seen better days

until today

I resized it into a shirt for Pete

actually

it was a little long at first so it looked like a mini dress on him

so cute if he was a girl

but he's not

so I cut off more of the length

I think it turned out pretty rad

the BYU shirt lives on

Andy Week Prospect Park Strolls

2011-09-29T09:10:00.000-04:00

it had been awhile since we were all in the park together

so we went on a long walk around the park

it was just as perfect as it sounds

.....on Andy week, via the IPHONE

2011-09-28T08:20:00.000-04:00

Andy week included

being lazy

trips to Fairway and the water front

ice cream (blue bell baby)

discounts on said blue bell for being a Texas native

and for Andy marrying a Texan

long long long walks around Brooklyn

and PB&J sandwiches

more to come

.....on one who has influence

2011-09-27T06:35:00.003-04:00

A number of years ago, soon after I was married, I found myself at gal pal Val's apartment on Main St. in Rexburg Idaho. Andy was in Portland working and I was, for dramatic purposes, all alone. Val was good enough to invite me over for dinner. I remember it like it was yesterday. It wasn't a meal I would have chosen to eat or even thought up on my own. It was simple in its own right and would serve to change the face of my culinary future.

Valerie took 2 potatoes, good ol' Idaho russets I assume, rubbed them in butter, generously sprinkled them with salt, and placed them directly on the rack in the oven to bake. This created the most delicious baked potato ever. The skin was crisp and salty and the inside was delicious with the addition of butter, sour cream, and sprinkle cheese. She served the potato with a simple green salad consisting of greens, craisens, feta cheese I believe, and a balsamic vinaigrette. It was my first encounter with balsamic vinegar.

While I am sure she thought nothing of this meal, or the gesture of inviting me over, it had a lasting impact on how I eat today. I believe this was the first meal I made for Andy when he came home to me from Portland. I am fairly certain I called Andy that very evening to tell him about it, how delicious it was, how heavenly this thing called balsamic was.

Andy and I have a tendency to get on food kicks. I believe I may have mentioned that once or twice. Well Valerie, as it turns out, has started a number of those kicks, starting with balsamic vinaigrette. That evening with balsamic vinegar has launched our (mine and Andy's) love of cheeses, of balsamic vinaigrette on most of our salads, of baguettes dipped in good rich balsamic, the only way I will eat a baked potato, craisens in salads. It made us a little more daring in our food choices. If something I had never heard of before could somehow sweep my tongue off its feet and change the way I view a salad, what else out there can do the same thing. That night with gal pal Val turned me into a culinary adventurer. Not to say I will eat anything, but there are few things I won't try, and because of that, my food world is so much richer, so much more enjoyable.

Its Valerie's birthday today. It is also 9 years that I have known Valerie (not to the day, but in round about terms). I am beyond pleased that I chose to live in the "house with the porch" and that Valerie was wearing a cool shirt when I walked into our bedroom (my first college bedroom with my first college roommate) because I knew we could be friends. Happy Birthday Valerie. Thanks for the food trip (though I am sure you didn't know you influenced it).

P.S. She has done it again by the way. We never ate much pesto before a few weeks ago. I wasn't against it, I just never really thought about it. That is, until Valerie brought over her own homemade pesto. We finished off the jar in a few days, and then I was inspired to make my own. That too was gone within a few days. Another jar was made, and it too disappeared alarmingly fast. So thanks for the latest food craze in our house Val. We are eating pesto like the world basil supply is drying up never again to be recovered. (which if you are looking at my basil plant outside, you might think that, I believe we got greedy and over-harvested last time.)

our favorite way to eat pesto right now is spread over toasted sourdough bread

sometimes with an over easy egg and a shaving of pecorino or parmesan

try it

be prepared to have your mind blown

what I did the last 2 weeks

2011-09-26T15:09:00.003-04:00

week before last

I made a case for my Iphone

I almost bought one on Etsy

and then I was like

"um, wait a sec, I sew, and this is easy, why am I buying one"

so I whipped this up

in seriously

10 minutes flat

it does the job

it is lined with fleece for extra softness and cushion

last week

I made a tie for Pete

the first of many I am sure

I am pretty unconventional when it comes to Pete's church attire

he is a little kid after all

but the other Sunday

I asked P what he wanted to wear

he said he wanted a white shirt with buttons

like dad

and then he wanted a tie

like dad

and who am I to deny him that

he wants to be like Andy

this tie is just refashioned? resized? from an old tie I picked up at a thrift shop

turned out rad, but with a few mistakes

I now know better what to do next time

PS he doesn't wear shark muscle shirts and running shorts to church

I promise

this picture is solely for the purpose of showing the tie

not his normal church attire

It's Andy Week

2011-09-21T15:37:00.002-04:00

after a rough

LONG

tax season

Andy is taking a well deserved week off

the boys and myself

are taking a well deserved

Andy Week

updates on 'what I did' last week coming soon

.......on this day

2011-09-15T13:32:00.002-04:00

so its a big day for us

a big day indeed

you might think it was because Gus is three months old

and that is a big day

things seems to come together, get easier, at 3 months

BUT

that isn't it

you might think it is a big day because of the Sept 15th tax deadline

it is a big day because of that

Andy will be coming home at regular times

or not going to work at all

HUZZAH

he even surprised us yesterday coming home early

and bringing me tax day flowers

BUT

that isn't why today is so big

remember my post last October?

this morning

at 8:30 AM

(how I slept that late, I will never know, thanks Gus)

Andy woke me up

laptop in hand

web page opened to the UHEAA website

UHEAA holds the remainder of Andy's student loans

he entered in the remaining balance of the loan

and asked me to press the submit button

and submit I did

we are done

finished

we have no more debt

we are free

this has the potential to be a long post

detailing all that got us to this point

but I will keep it simple

we prayed and fasted

much

for help to accomplish this goal

a seemingly unreachable goal

and help came

in every form

little miracles for our family

some with no explanation

some very tangible

I am at a loss of words to describe how I feel, how Andy must feel

our singular purpose when we moved to NYC was to tackle these loans

that first payment seemed so depressing

it was hard making extra payments on something that seemed to make no difference

but we stayed the course

we lived as frugal as possible

oddly NYC made that possible

we put every extra bit of money on the loans

(also a hard thing to do, tax returns are supposed to be for fun right?)

every bonus

every raise

all went to the loan

but not anymore

we planned on it taking us 5 years to pay the loans off

when we started paying, we had to adjust that goal

it seemed unrealistic at the time

we thought maybe 6 or 7

somehow

someway

it was paid in 3 years, 9 months

(it could have taken us 15-20 years with minimum payments)

on this day

September 15, 2001

the Donkin family officially became debt free!!!!

(except I owe my mom $5 for patterns and

Tyson $11 for Labor Day meat,

but you know I am good for it)

this marks the day of our independence

Donkin Family Independence Day!!!

we will celebrate it every year

because how could we forget all that has happened

all the blessings and answered prayers

we won't let that happen

and our children will know

what now?

well

save of course

we are saving for a car

among other things

since we just got out of debt

we are in no rush to get back in debt

so we are just going to save up and buy it cash

we are in a good spot to do that since we don't NEED a car to live here

it would just be nice now that we have 2 babies instead of one

any suggestions as to what we should get?

we considered buy a car in Oregon or Texas when we visit family

then drive cross country back home

have you ever done that?

the day everything went right

2011-09-14T10:26:00.004-04:00

One day left

I am giddy

can't wait until tomorrow

.............................................................................................................................................................

Gus will be 3 months old tomorrow

as it comes to this point

I realize that my recollection of the day of his birth is becoming dim in my memory

so for the record

here is what happened

as best as I can remember

..............................................................................................................................................................

the short and skinny of it is

everything went exactly as we had hoped

better even

we had a successful VBAC

for the nitty gritty details

read on......

My mom arrived safe and sound the evening of the 13th. My due date was June 14th. At 4:00 AM on the morning of June 15th, I woke up to something akin to menstrual cramps and for some reason, I knew this was it, this was real. Even with all the false alarms I had over the last 2 weeks, I knew this was real. It was just as Annie said, you just know when its real. I was so excited I wanted to wake Andy up to tell him he wasn't going to work that day. He, however, had only been asleep 3 hours (he worked very very very late that night). So I waited, drifting in and out of sleep. At 6:00 AM, Andy turned over and opened his eyes and asked if I was ok. I told him we were having a baby today. He asked how I could tell, I said I just knew.

I got out of bed, no longer able to snooze in and out of contractions. I read a little of the Good Word while eating a piece of toast and sitting on a medicine ball. Andy came in shortly after just to clarify that I was in labor. I assured him I was indeed. I hoped in the shower to clean up before the big event, and as usual, I didn't wash my hair. It wasn't that kind of big event. The kind that requires clean hair.

At 8:00 AM, I received a call from Alex, Dr. Chen's receptionist. She called to ask if I would mind if my appointment was rescheduled for later that week. I told her no need, I was having a baby today. She said that was perfect because Dr. Chen was already at the hospital. So I called my doctor, and she said to take a hot bath for 15 minutes then give her a call. I did just that; the contractions slowed slightly but did not lessen in intensity. When I got out of the hot bath, the contractions started picking up, so I called Dr. Chen back, she was thrilled and told me to go ahead and labor at home and to call back in two hours.

One hour later, I called Dr. Chen and told her I was coming in, this baby wasn't going for a long labor. At 10AM, we called a car to take us to the hospital. It was the same guy who drove us home from the hospital after we had Pete. Just so you know, 10 AM is not a good time to go from Park Slope to Columbus Circle. There is traffic. Not a ton, but enough to make a woman in labor a bit nervous, not to mention Tony, the driver. I am sure if anyone peered into our car, they would have been very curious as to what was going on. I know I would have been. I rarely sat the whole ride. Its hard to sit through active labor. ******Note: This picture is of me actually having a contraction. I told Andy to document this moment, mid contraction.

We got to the hospital around 12PM. We went to triage and it took a ridiculous amount of time to be admitted. I mean, I was in active labor on the waiting room floor and the incompetent people were asking me the date of my last period and how many prenatal visits I had. Are you kidding me??!!!??!?!

Finally, a triage nurse poked her head out and was like, whoa, get that lady in here. Finally a rational person. I went in and when they asked me for a urine sample I almost puked in their face just to spite them, but I realize this is necessary so I oblige them. *****Note: It is very hard to pee in a cup during a contraction, chances are you will pee more on your hand than the cup, but you will hopefully get enough pee in the cup to suffice the testing required.

They then directed me to my bed to be checked out. The nurse said I was 7 cm and I started to cry. They let Andy come back and he was almost crying too. Then Dr. Chen came, bright eyed and bushy tailed, said I was only 4 cm but not too worry, I looked great. As contractions came she told me to get up and labor however was comfortable......God bless Dr. Chen. She instructed me how she wanted me to breathe and told David (Dr. Chen refused to call Andy by his actual name, and for some reason always called him David) to make sure I kept breathing that way during contractions.

I was moved to my room and met my nurse, the best labor and delivery nurse ever, Mary Ellen. It was decided that I would labor naturally, but that we would get the anesthesiologist to thread the catheter in case we had to do a cesarean, I would be ready. The anesthesiologist came in around 2PM at which point I had a big contraction and my water broke in a big way and the wave of super super intense contractions started. I said forget it, give me the epidural stat.

This was the hardest part of the whole thing. I had to hold absolutely still through 4 very intense 45 second long contractions. Tears and snot dripped down my face as Mary Ellen talked me through the whole thing, her head against mine. Mary Ellen was my ministering angel in that moment. She made sure I didn't move, not by force, but by encouragement, forceful encouragement.

They had to thread the epidural catheter twice. A resident did the first one and didn't quite get it where it needed to be, though it was good enough to get a does of the epidural meds into my body. Then the anesthesiologist rethreaded the epidural and we were good to go. I am not sure if it is how they did the epidural or if it is just how my body reacts to epidurals, but they don't make me numb from the waist down. I still have complete control of my lower half. I can move my legs, I can support my weight and move myself around, making the recovery easy. The only odd thing, which I think is common, is that the epidural makes me itchy all over.

So now with the epidural, I was feeling pretty good. Dr. Chen came in right after it was over to see how far I was dilated. I was at 8cm. Eight centimeters!!! I couldn't believe it. I labored to 8cm! I guess if they didn't do the epidural when they did, I wouldn't have been able to get one. Which would have been ok. I guess if I had known that is how many centimeters I was, I would have skipped the epidural. But I didn't and instead of regretting it, I just enjoyed the minimal pain, and played a sudoku puzzle while Andy went to get lunch. Dr. Chen asked me to sort of push/bear down slightly, each time I felt a contraction. She said this would help move things along.

At about 2:45, she checked to see how I was progressing. She sat with a thoughtful look on her face. I asked her what was up. She said that she didn't want to say because she didn't want to jinx it. (So things must have been good). Then she started discussing something with Mary Ellen. They spoke to each other as peers rather than doctor and nurse. That is what I like about Dr. Chen. Yes, she is a doctor, but she doesn't rub it in your face. She wants to talk with you, she wants you to respond, she wants your opinion. They were discussing giving me a tiny bit of pitocin to finish off the labor. Mary Ellen was adamant that I didn't need it. She told Dr. Chen to just let my body do what it is doing. After some discussion, Dr. Chen looked at me and said, lets give this a try, lets push a little and see what happens.

"David, grab that leg!". Of course she was talking to Andy. Andy, previously, said he wanted nothing to do with the actual birthing of Gus. Understandably so. He just wanted to stay up top, hold my hand, be encouraging, etc, etc, etc. No cutting of the cord, no pulling the baby out, no touching the baby's head before he came out. I understand all of this. But apparently Dr. Chen had other plans. There was no north end or south end in this labor. It was all scrunched up into one, with Andy (David) holding one bent leg at the knee and foot, and my other foot on Dr. Chen's shoulder (apparently she doesn't care for the stirrups). She told me to tell her when I was feeling a contraction and then told me how to push. As the first contraction came, I took a big breath, bore down, and Dr. Chen counted. I did about 3 pushes each contraction. Dr. Chen praised me for being the best pusher she has ever seen. (She would go on to talk about how good I was at pushing for about an hour.) She was so impressed. I attribute it to all my years of regular bowel movements. Thank you oatmeal.

At about 3 PM (15 minutes after we started pushing) Mary Ellen told me to reach down and touch his head, he was almost out. I respectfully declined, I had no intention of touching him until he was out. Mary Ellen wasn't having that, she grabbed my hand and placed it on his head. Definitely didn't feel like a baby but more of something from a science fiction movie. I was giving birth to an alien.

At 3:03 PM, Daniel Gustav Donkin was placed on my stomach for about 5 second, and was then whisked away for cleaning about 8 feet from where I lay. Andy and I were overwhelmed. We (but mostly me) couldn't stop crying. Andy went back and forth between me and Gus, checking on both, taking pictures and video of Gus. I can't describe the feeling, though I am sure many of you already know what I am talking about. Complete overwhelming joy. I was so happy we did it, we had a VBAC, and it was really AWE-some and exciting. I labored for about 10 hours, then I enjoyed the last hour of labor with dulled pain. The actual birthing of Gus is a feeling that I will never have words for but will always have deep and overpowering feelings about.

Gus gave us exactly what we had hoped for: he was born in the afternoon, we had the rest of the day to be together, Andy, Gus, and I, he came VBAC, and it was a short labor. I am so grateful for our answered prayers. Dr. Chen was an answer to many many prayers. She was more than we could have hoped for. She was my advocate for a VBAC. She was real, she didn't put on airs, she told me the truth, she gave information to me straight up, she didn't treat me like I didn't go to med school, she made sure I understood what was happening. Our labor and delivery nurse, Mary Ellen, was also an answer to prayers. Our experience this time around was the complete opposite of our experience with Pete. Our experience was perfect. I am so grateful for it this birth. It was amazing, faith building, and empowering. I am amazed and grateful at the opportunity to participate in such a fantastic aspect of life, giving birth. Even though its the furthest thing from my mind right now, I kind of can't wait to do it again. If I could relive this day over and over, I think I would, maybe three times over. It was a perfect day. The best day all year.

what to do when you get "out-cooled" by your parents

2011-09-13T07:00:00.003-04:00

So here is the thing. Andy and I have had a singular financial goal of paying off student loan dept as fast as possible. Because of this, we mostly go without the niceties of life, like fancy technology and new clothes (unless desperately needed). In March of this year while I was visiting my parents, my dad got an iphone. When I first heard this, I was a little alarmed that my dad just became cooler than me. Then I found out it was a work phone; he, himself, did not choose the phone. So that made me still cooler than my dad, but only by a little.

Then, for my dad's birthday, he got an ipad. My dad was becoming some sort of hipster* old guy and I officially fell off the cool charts. Naturally I couldn't let this happen. If anyone was going to be "hipster cool" it was going to be me, I live in Brooklyn for Pete's sake. However, I endured being "out-cooled" by my accountant husband for about a week and a half until I finally upgraded and got an iphone too. (Sorry Val, I know how you feel about them, honestly I feel the same, but I heart it so) Mostly it keeps me from getting lost. When I go into the city, I always call Andy and ask him where I am and how to get home. South Manhattan is a mess of streets that is sure to confuse unless you live in the area.

So hooray for the iphone, hooray for the sweet deal going on right now on the iphone 4 (getting the iphone 4 out to make way for the iphone 5), hooray for the hipstamatic app, hooray for technology and hooray being cool again.

And for the countdown

huzzah!

*My dad isn't a hipster, rest assured. When he wears socks with sandals, he is being serious, not ironic.

3 days left!

2011-09-12T07:58:00.000-04:00

ugh, sick

the thing is

someone had to do that for him

so gross

when it grows back

it will be all itchy

and someone will have to itch it for him

that too will be gross

countdown on and on

2011-09-11T04:24:00.000-04:00

is that snow?

countdown on

2011-09-10T04:23:00.000-04:00

2011-09-09T08:11:00.000-04:00

our sleep patterns were off when Gus came

then they came together for about 3 glorious weeks

now

we are off again

don't let that sleeping baby fool you

this week he hasn't slept so well

and don't let that waking toddler fool you

he has been napping up a storm

meaning he doesn't go to sleep at night

and with Andy getting home at 3AM

and the boys waking up at all hours

and me drifting in and out of sleep 24/7

well

it will nice to get back on a schedule soon

for all of us

wow

6 days left

I can hardly wait!

what I did this week (but back in August)

2011-09-08T08:35:00.000-04:00

I was commissioned to make a couple of dresses for a friend

one for an anniversary

one fore a wedding

I think they turned out great

countdown number

baby food and the number 8

2011-09-07T14:48:00.004-04:00

we ventured to Target today via subway

this might sound like a pleasant trip to you

but if you have ever visited my Target

then you know it likely wasn't

its like a third world country there

not that there is anything wrong with third world countries

I just don't think Target should look like one

however

I went in with very very very low expectations

and it totally lived down to them

we did have a couple of successes though

I did figure out what size shoe Pete wears

and I found these little babies

Gus is far from being able to eat them

but it will be here before I know it

perfect for a second child who likely will be eating on the run more often than not

I am anxious to try these out on Gus

(wish they had them when Pete was little)

also excited to get into the baby food thing again

we are a few months away still

and for the countdown

no, I will give no hints

don't get too excited

I guarantee that you won't think its as great as we do

or perhaps my dad

because he is excited about this sort of thing

still

it is a day that will be marked in the history of our family for years to come

and speaking of family

I employed P-money to help me out with the countdown today

image found here

eye-phone & single digits

2011-09-06T09:09:00.003-04:00

Andy got an IPHONE a week ago

it does important things

turn our boys into comic book creeps

countdown continues

single digits!!!

2011-09-05T09:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Labor Day

ours will be full of smoked meat and pies

oh yes

yummy delicious end of summer pies

the countdown continues......

image from freefoto.com

countdown

2011-09-04T09:46:00.000-04:00

weekend or not, countdown continues

2011-09-03T09:40:00.000-04:00

big stuff and what I did this week

2011-09-02T09:27:00.000-04:00

this week's project is just a step in the final product

I have been working on transferring my blog to book

a hard copy for my family

I am doing it through blurb.com

time intensive but worth it

I am almost ready to send it to print

so exciting

this isn't my book

obviously

just an example of what it might look like

if you are a fan of House

then this pic will make sense in the countdown

but if not

then here you go

13 days left!

something big

2011-09-01T08:20:00.003-04:00

fourteen days left

also

I made Gus laugh twice yesterday

this is a big deal

Pete got the first laugh a few days ago

I got the 2nd and the 3rd giggle

Andy got the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, etc giggles from Pete

when he was a baby

he got all of them

but now, victory

I didn't beat Pete

but I have beat Andy!

........................................................

in Andy's defense

he has had insane hours at work

if he were home in the evenings more regularly

(which he will be soon!)

then I guarantee that 2nd and 3rd giggle would have gone to him

but in the mean time

I will shamelessly get as many giggles as I can

because soon

daddy will be the only funny thing around

and I will merely be utility again

a week of calm and something big

2011-08-31T11:10:00.000-04:00

this week has been awesome so far

an afternoon of perfect weather in the park

intense decluttering of my workspace

an early morning run

an afternoon at the pool with the boys and gal pal Val

an evening at IKEA with even the same

plans for the pool tomorrow AND Friday

even more decluttering tomorrow

its shaping up to be a really great week

also

big things happening for us

big things

so big that I am having a countdown until the big thing happens

normally I think its ludicrous to start a countdown higher than 10

but this is just that big

at least it is for us

so this countdown starts at 15

so lets kick it off

lets hear it for 15

15 days until the "big thing!"

no harm, no foul

2011-08-28T19:09:00.002-04:00

thanks Irene

for downgrading to a tropical storm by the time you got to NYC

I guess we were lucky

luckily

its been nice to have Andy home this whole weekend though

so if that meant hype on a hurricane

I am glad for it

and so are the boys

lots of daddy time

now we are ready for a very unexciting week ahead of us

a week of calm

a week of.....doing whatever we want

hey crazy lady

2011-08-27T15:41:00.003-04:00

image found here

we are hunkering down for the weekend

church has been canceled

Irene is coming tonight/tomorrow

we just had our 'last supper' at Five Guys with friends

not sure what more we can do to get ready

fingers crossed we don't run out of cheese

.................................................................................................................

wish us luck

what I did this week, but in June

2011-08-25T23:15:00.003-04:00

The month of June I did a couple projects that I couldn't post about because they were gifts. Now those gifts have been given, so now I am posting about them. The first was a quilt for gal pal Val who is having a little baby girl in about a month. We threw a little baby shower (and by we I mean me, Annie, Kimmy, and Elizabeth) for Valerie a couple weeks ago and that is when I gave her the quilt. More on the shower later. The quilt was crib size and it was my first patch work quilt. I think it turned out pretty good. I had a hard time deciding if it was cute "little girl" or cute "on my grandma's spare room bed". I never decided, but I gave it to her anyway because I had a baby and didn't have time to make something new.

The second quilt was for Andy for our 6 year anniversary. When Andy and I were dating, he mentioned that an old girlfriend of his made him a quilt that was small, like a lap blanket. He said he didn't like it. If a blanket didn't cover him head to toe, it was no good. So before we were married, I made him a huge denim picnic quilt for his birthday. Since we are really into quilts lately (we made one for Sam & Gayle last Christmas), I decided I would make him another large quilt. My goal was to surprise him, which, if you live in as small an apartment as we do, its hard to hide anything as big as a quilt. A portion of the quilt I did while in Texas last March. I finished it right before Gus came. And honestly, I finished this quilt about a month before our anniversary and it was almost more than I could handle not giving it to him earlier. Somehow though I managed to hold off. I gave it to him at 12AM the morning of our anniversary, we just happened to be up that late with the new baby. Surprise him I did. He wondered when I had time to do it, why he hadn't noticed anything, so on and so on. I am actually surprised Pete didn't let something slip. I wanted it to not be too girly or too manly and I think I managed that.

Two very exhausting projects that took multiple weeks of work, but I am glad I did it, and I am glad its over. More past "what I did this week" coming up.......

why hello friend, long time.....

2011-08-23T20:22:00.003-04:00

I can feel it in the air

its the occasional coolness

its the opening of windows

its the smell

its the feeling

its the anticipation of something

its a resolute feeling of well being

its not fall

its the end of summer

the last days of heat

my favorite part of summer

not necessarily because it means fall is on the way

though that is part of it

its the urge I get to go shopping for my favorite pens and college ruled paper

its the urge I get to organize and declutter in preparation for a semester

now as an adult

its knowing tax season is ending soon

its knowing we will see Andy more

this time of year makes me want to read more

it makes me want to work on projects

it makes me want to make bread and pies

my new favorite almost fall food

oatmeal

now I eat oatmeal 80% of the time for breakfast

we usually eat it savory with a little butter, salt, flax, and sunflower seeds

but tonight I had it for dinner

and did something different

oatmeal, kale, black beans, olive oil, salt, pepper, soft yoke fried egg, parmesan cheese

for sure this will become a regular in my dinner rotations

it has a nice mix of summer and fall flavors

its my late summer dinner

***trying to figure out life with a new one

I am in over my head

Gus just recently decided to be a happy baby

so hopefully I will be posting more

I have been dying to show you the projects I have been working on

yes

believe it or not

I have been doing my 'project a week'

not every week

but most weeks

not going to lie

I am impressed, I didn't think I had it in me

Oh, and for the grandmas

because I know that is why you really look at my blog

Gus loves visitors

I'm looking at you Grandma D

he wants to meet you

and we want your apple pie

consider it

......on summertime

2011-08-09T08:57:00.005-04:00

(rooftop view in Brooklyn, July 4, 2011)

if you know me at all

you know I hate summers*

hate is a strong word

though

perhaps I am directing my hate at the wrong thing

I don't hate warmth

but I do hate humidity

summers in NYC=humidity and misery

Andy put his best when just last night

when describing the way if felt outside

he said

"It feels like I am in someone's mouth"

and indeed you are Andy

you are in the mouth of NYC

and it is just as gross as it sounds

we celebrated the feeling of being in a mouth

with delicious homemade strawberry-kiwi ice cream

um, totally made up for the gross mouth outside

Thanks Tyson!

*gal pal Val maintains that you are only truly alive in the summer

this is where we part ways my friend

out of the mouth of babes

2011-08-08T15:36:00.004-04:00

I am taken with how Pete talks

I think the process toddlers go through

to figure out the English language

to figure out correct grammar

is a riot

there are a few things that Pete has said in the past

and that he is currently saying

that I don't want to forget

so I am recording them here

"I want my you"

(meaning he wanted me, this is a personal favorite but he no longer says it)

"go-bee"

(a made up word, we don't know where is came from,

but it used to make him giggle uncontrollably)

to refer to things that happened in the past

he uses the phrase "last days"

for instance

"I go to the beach 'last days' "

"I peed on the floors 'last days' "

he also combines the words 'was' and 'is' to make 'wiz'

for instance

"I wiz in the shower"

"It wiz in my bedroom"

Me: "What's the matter Pete?"

Pete: "Its not a matter with me Mom, its no matter"

Andy: "What do you think Pete?"

Pete: "I don't think anything"

'V' is a hard letter for kids

Pete can say it

he uses it interchangeably with 'B'

veach instead of beach

Balerie instead of Valerie

for the grandmas

2011-08-01T04:10:00.000-04:00

Gus Montage

with cameo appearances made by Pete

6 weeks and 2 days since my last run

2011-07-28T09:30:00.005-04:00

Dear Running Feet,

Thanks for the run this morning, sorry about the blisters

Dear Early Morning Brooklyn,

So good to see you again.

Dear Flatbush Run,

Somehow you managed to feel like a new run and an old friend all at once.

Dear Last 1/2 mile of the 3 mile route,

Why did you feel like the end of a marathon?

Dear Stomach Muscles,

What is the matter with you? Why do you act like you have been in a state of atrophy for the last 6 or so months?

Dear Body,

FYI, you will be sore in the morning.

Dear Husband,

I know you are exhausted and that you got home after 2 o'clock last night. I want you to know that the 30 minutes of extra sleep you gave up so I could go for my first run in 6+ weeks was super super super appreciated.

the day the music died

2011-07-27T15:59:00.004-04:00

it began years ago

my brothers were insistent that I meet Harry

eventually I gave in

then last week

with a trip to CVS for candy

then a feverish bike ride in 1,000 degree heat to the theater

I experienced the bittersweet

saw it with gal pal val

she wouldn't laugh when I cried

and I did cry

it ended with smiles

and the knowledge that I will never be that giddy about a movie or book ever again

on our own now OR a family of four

2011-07-20T09:53:00.003-04:00

I don't care what you say, your mom is not better than my mom. My mom gave up more than a month to be here in NYC (just in case the VBAC didn't happen and we had a cesarean) to help us out after Gus was born. You probably think it sounds like a great vacation until I tell you it has been very hot and humid (and window AC units do very little), we don't own a car, we don't have a washer/dryer, our apartment is the size of a glorified closet, and the closest real grocery store is at least a 10 minute walk. My mom has done my laundry, picked up groceries, taken Pete to the park and the gym, made dinner, etc, etc, etc. This was no vacation my friends. This was unpleasant manual labor. She was a trooper, never complained, and happily did whatever I asked her to do to help out, even though I tend to be a bit moody and stressed out after I have a baby.

I am POSITIVE she is glad to be back home in Texas, with central AC, 2000+ sq feet to call her own (as opposed to 10 sq feet), a car, normal size grocery stores, and especially the company of my dad. Its hard to be away from a spouse for so long, I know. The point I am trying to make is that my mom is great, the best there is around. My dad is too, but this post isn't about him is it (though he did give up my mom for a month for me, so that deserves a hearty thank you). Summer is supposed to be a time of fun and vacation and my mom gave it up for a rough month of babysitting and manual labor. My mom gave me (and my siblings) everything of herself when we were kids. That is what a mother does, they give up and sacrifice much for their children. And that is what my mom is still doing; still giving me everything, even though I am not a child living at home anymore. She is a great example to me of what a mother can do for her children.

My mom left to go back to Texas on Monday. She was here a little over a month. My dad came the last weekend she was here to participate in Gus' baby blessing . But now they are both gone and we are on our own, with two boys, both very needy at the moment. Lets just say we woke up very very very tired this morning.

One last thing, Mom, I asked you a few times if you had everything, if you checked everywhere. You said you did, you were sure. Then dad added if you did forget anything, you would get it later.....well, does THIS look familiar????

That's right. You left it and I found it. And guess what? I am holding it ransom. You know what I want in payment for its safe return. Just fish it out of your closet and hand it over. It wants to adorn my head more than this one does. Think it over, consider how much you value its life, consider what's it worth to you.

First Laundry Day

2011-07-13T10:52:00.001-04:00

before he was even 2 weeks old

we were off to the laundromat

and it would confirm my fears

that laundry day can be even worse than it already was

nothing horrible happened

but between my mom and I

and 2 boys

we were exhausted

I don't believe I will be doing this on my own

ever

again

with kids in tow

what I wouldn't give for a washer/dryer in my apartment

actually, what I wouldn't give just to have washer/dryer hookups

that's the thing about many apartments in NYC

its not just that you don't have a washer or dryer

and its not just that you don't have washer/dryer hookups

or that you don't have anywhere to put them

its that you aren't allowed to have them

there aren't hookups and the owners have no intentions of installing them

you have no other option but to go to a laundromat

lucky are the few who have laundry

lucky indeed

since this day

my mom has taken a load of laundry for me

and I have gone to do a load while she watched the babes

what will we do when she leaves

and Andy is in the midst of the second busy season

what will we do???

what I did last week, but didn't post

2011-07-12T10:40:00.002-04:00

I made a shirt

without a pattern

just something that has been brewing in my mind

super simple

30 minutes tops

perfect for summer

and a busy new mom who should have been napping

rather than sewing

I test drove it on a date

with some of my favorite people

and some of my favorite Brooklyn ice cream

I lack the verbal prowess to express how beyond pleased I am

to have such old and dear friends here in Brooklyn

how is came to be that we all live here

I will never know

and I never want to know

it would ruin the magic of it all

and the magic of a summer evening

wandering around Carroll Gardens with friends and ice cream

what I wouldn't give

2011-07-07T13:18:00.002-04:00

I had hoped P-nut would be a thumb sucker

however

unlike most babies

he wouldn't put anything in his mouth unless it was food or a pacifier

with Gus

my hope is still the same

I hope he finds his thumb more often

why a thumb?

they can find it themselves in the middle of the night

they don't drop it on NYC subways or sidewalks

you don't have to boil it periodically

celebrating 6 years

2011-07-06T13:11:00.000-04:00

celebrations included dinner without babies

we had sandwiches at a place near our apartment

we love sandwiches

we walked around Park Slope

scouted out books we wanted from Barnes & Noble

then we made our way home for cheese cake

lovingly made by a girl friend of mine

(IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!!!!!)

and we enjoyed a bottle of Navarro Vineyards dry grape juice

a kingly gift from another friend of mine

don't you wish you had friends like mine

it was a delicious evening

watermelon granita

2011-07-05T09:33:00.000-04:00

do yourself a favor this summer

make yourself a watermelon granita

or any fruit granita

but in this case

I did watermelon

4 cups watermelon cubed

1/4-1/2 cup sugar (or you could use honey or agave nectar too)

juice of 1 lime

an herb

(I did a couple leaves of fresh basil, but mint would be good too)

~throw it all in a blender until smooth

~put in a baking dish in the freezer

~scrape with a fork once every hour until desired frozen consistency is reached

~enjoy the delights of summer in this simple frozen treat

Happy Fourth of July!

2011-07-04T13:02:00.002-04:00

hope you get a good firework show tonight

not sure if we will see anything

doing a rooftop picnic again

but since they moved the fireworks to the Hudson

we have been unable to enjoy a good firework show

BRING THE FIREWORKS BACK TO THE EAST RIVER!!!!!

looking forward to a cured meat sandwich tonight

sopressata, capicola, mortadella, procuitto

my stomach yearns for you

I haven't had any of you in 9 long months

cars are overrated

2011-07-04T12:58:00.001-04:00

......on marking time

2011-07-02T09:38:00.003-04:00

I remember I fell in love with your car before I fell in love with you

I remember that I could hear it coming long before I could see it

I remember that you were one of the few boys I knew who couldn't play the guitar

it was oddly refreshing

I remember that when disco music was on

you couldn't help but dance like it was 1973

and that when you were wearing white platform goldfish heel shoes

you could really get your disco on

I remember falling hard for you that night

I remember when I found out how your affinity for pyrotechnics

and how that would be the beginning of many a fun "outings"

I remember when you told Sammy to ask me out because you were already dating someone

and I also remember how Sammy told you to ask me out yourself

I like Sam, good man

I remember that I had a picture of you hanging on my wall

for a whole semester before I even really knew you

I remember all those awkward engagement photos

but I also remember it was worth it for the two or three I really really like

I remember our wedding day

I was so nervous, yet so sure

hey

remember how when we woke up this morning

there were four people in our bed?

I can imagine my life without you

I can imagine my life without the boys

I just would rather not

I am sure I would have been happy, I would have been fine

but when I see what we've done, where we've come from

I like it so much

I am glad this is the way it went

I am beyond happy about the last 6 years

best 6 years of my life

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary indeed

what I did this week

2011-07-01T09:16:00.000-04:00

baby blanket for Will

it will be in the mail as soon as the adoption is final

which for Sam & Gayle's sake

I hope it is soon

PS Pete is testing out the comfortable-ness of the blanket

I think it passed

a laugh and feather extensions, $10

2011-06-30T12:33:00.002-04:00

On the groupon ad for NYC that I got yesterday,

I found this little gem at the bottom of the screen.

It reminded me of something my friend James would write.

Speaking of James, go check out something he wrote here:

A Generic Letter of Recommendation for Anyone

one of my favorite things about "Groupon Says"

is that cat with the gold groupon chain around its neck

why a cat? why a crazy cool medallion round its neck?

these are questions I ponder late at night while nursing the baby.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Drag Racing

Though stuck-up snobs such as adults and the government frown on drag racing, it really is the best way to learn which of two cars is the fastest. Here, then, is a guide to driving your car competitively:

Choose the location of the race wisely. Though the sloped cement urban river area might seem like the most logical choice, your tires will get better traction in a rippling air desert or the parking lot of the leather-jacket factory.
Ford cars are faster than Chevy ones. If the previous statement angers you, reverse the names of the companies.
Cancel the race immediately if there is even a remote chance that baby ducklings could be anywhere near the racing area.
You and your opponent only hate each other because you're so alike. Remember this and you'll immediately team up to steal diamonds and ramp over local points of interest.
Make sure you hold down the pedal that moves the car and not the one that doesn't do that.

2 Donkin Boys in less than 2 weeks

2011-06-27T09:11:00.002-04:00

Gus was born on June 15th

William was born 10 days later

and was adopted by some of my favorite people

Congratulations Sam & Gayle!!!

we are, as they say, 'tickled pink' for you guys

its my favorite time of day

2011-06-22T14:12:00.004-04:00

I should be sleeping too.

Happy Birth-Day Gus!

2011-06-20T07:59:00.001-04:00

we had a birth-day party for Gus

really though

it was for Pete

he helped me pick out the cake

wrap presents

and pick up balloons (with Gramy)

tin can birthday cake idea came from ECAB

so cute and perfect for a child's birthday cake

gifts were for Gus and Pete

I think it helped P be excited about G's arrival

and it may have spoiled him a bit too

I won't lie

he has been on the rotten side of things

not out of control

but less than desirable

but really

who could blame him

the world as he has known it has just been rocked

he'll live though

they always do

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T13:09:00.003-04:00

its the most I could have given you

a boy

and the potential for more

but lets hope its a girl next time

Happy Father's Day my bearded man

P thinks the world of you

and as soon as you are more than a blurry brown spot with spikes

I am sure the little cupcake will think the world of you too

Happy Father's Day to my dad and to Andy's dad as well

for where would we be without our very own dads

our apartment just got a little smaller

2011-06-17T15:59:00.003-04:00

Huzzah!

he's here

Daniel Gustav Donkin

baby Gus*

our little cupcake

born June 15, 2011

details to come

*we are particular about the name and as parents, we have a right to be

his name is just Gus, nothing more, nothing less

I will leave it at that

never too prego for pie

2011-06-16T09:41:00.000-04:00

ego boost

pie for auction

raising money for our boy scouts

Lime Meringue Pie

winning bid

$60

self esteem

blushingly through the roof

refreshing and depressing, but not too depressing

2011-06-15T09:33:00.001-04:00

Refreshing: strawberry shortcake on a cool evening with friends

Depressing: soon this daddy will have

two boys to follow him around

two boys who want to do everything he does

two boys who cry when he leaves for work

two boys who cry for dad when they get in trouble with mom

two boys to 'rough up' after work

two boys to take to the 'Man Store'

two boys to teach to shave and work on cars

Its not really depressing, its cute

I am excited for it, for him

I guess I am jealous

there, I said it

are you happy

I am jealous and severely outnumbered

at least soon I will be

Proverbial Finish Line

2011-06-14T13:19:00.004-04:00

one might say I have made it

and perhaps I have

I am 40 weeks today

and to commemorate the day

I woke up early with Andy

and went to the gym

(we just left P at home, he was asleep, no harm done)*

and I ran 1.5 miles

not very far

but far for one at the finish line of a pregnancy

now baby boy may not come today

he may not come tomorrow

but as far as I am concerned

this race is over

I managed to run

pregnant

to the end

and for me

the end is

40 weeks

~boom~

(Brooklyn Half, May 2009, hope to repeat May 2012)

*sheesh, I was just kidding,

my mom came into town last night

she stayed home with P-money this morning

who do you think I am????

honestly

what I did last week, but its still a secret

2011-06-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

so the projects I have been working tirelessly on the last few weeks

sadly

are secrets

I promise a full reveal at a later date

I just feel accountable to letting no one in particular know

that I am indeed

still meeting my goal of doing a project a week

(at least 98% of the time)

whether or not I can show it to you

know this though

it mostly and entirely has involved sewing

this is it my friends

2011-06-07T08:19:00.004-04:00

39 weeks today!

To commemorate how close it is to the end, instead of packing my bags for the hospital, I scrubbed the apartment from top to bottom yesterday. It took all day, and I have a small, small, small apartment. So that is saying something about everything I did. Some of you might call this nesting, but if you knew me at all, you would know that it isn't nesting and that I am always looking for an excuse to do massive overhaul cleaning. There are few things I like more than going through all our belongings and de-cluttering. I love scrubbing soap scum off a bath tub and seeing it "shine" again. I get mildly excited and develop a small sense of pride when I somehow manage to make the kitchen floor resemble the color white (the color those stupid tiles should be). I love what a difference vacuuming makes. Instantly the apartment looks clean. I like taking inventory of our belongings, where they are located, and if that is the best place for them. Rearranging things to make them more clean, stream line, or efficient has been a favorite of mine since I was a small child. (I did not however scrub the oven, I ran out of time, and I don't intend on using it all summer).

Its hard to put so much effort into something we don't own, something that started out less than desirable in the first place (Andy, remember the peach walls in the kitchen, and the "unknown" substance on the carpet in our bedroom). But as it turns out, over the last 3.5 years, this little ridiculous apartment has become home. I like how we fit; I know where all my things are (except for your IPOD); I like that we can't buy too much, ever, it won't fit; it usually only takes an hour to clean; we get tons of natural light; somehow it keeps reinventing itself (just like Madonna) and no matter how much we change, we always seem to make it work longer than expected. Remember Andy, we only had plans to stay for a year, now we are 6 months from 4 years!

But most of all, we became a little family here. Its where we brought Pete home and its where baby brother will come home to as well. This funny little 600sq ft (at best) space that I spent hours sweating over yesterday, will be where our family of 3 becomes a family of 4. I can't wait to bring him home, to see what he looks like, to see how he fits into this nook or that. I can't wait for our family to grow one more in a space we thought would be a fleeting memory, a means to an end. Never did I think our family would double in size while living in this apartment. Never did I think it would feel like our home, but it does, and I think it some ways, it always will.

Me & Pete, day 2 of his life

what I did last week, but still haven't finished

2011-06-07T08:16:00.002-04:00

you guessed it

still working on "the project"

binding taking longer than expected

hand binding is a killer

but it is turning out nice

better to take my time and make it right

than to machine stitch and be done with it

and not like the finished product

in the mean time, my finger tips hurt

binding by hand can be brutal

make it a double on the rocks with a twist

2011-06-03T09:03:00.003-04:00

at my doctor's appointment the other day

Dr. Chen suggested I have a shot of brandy to tell whether my contractions were real or not

or maybe have a shot of brandy to get labor going?

I can't remember

funny thing is that she isn't a drinking woman

not that she doesn't drink very much, but that she doesn't drink at all

she doesn't like her head to be fuzzy

but she also knows I am not a drinking person

for religious and personal reasons

so it was a funny conversation

so why am I standing outside the Pacific Standard Bar on 4th Ave last night?

because I think I will have myself that drink

doctor's orders right?

I did actually go into the bar

but not for a drink

don't you know me at all?

besides

what idiot in their right mind would serve alcohol to a woman clearly about to give birth

(less than 2 weeks!!!!)

my long time friend

James Roy Best III

was doing a reading

and since I haven't been to one in awhile

and soon I won't be doing much besides feeding and changing diapers for awhile

I decided this was the night

so at 38+ weeks

I walked into a bar

passed the "doctor ordered" shot of brandy

into the back room

the reading room

where I enjoyed the insights and memories of a friend

(second photo by Kent, taken with IPhone hypstomatic app)

(also, James is being published all over the place, when I figure out where, I will post so you can check it out)

drop it like its hot, or is it hott?

2011-06-02T14:09:00.002-04:00

I had a doctor appointment yesterday

she told me I look great and that baby boy has dropped

something I never heard last time

things are happening this time that never happened with Pete

this gives me high hopes for a VBAC

I have a superb doctor, loose hips, and now a dropped baby

things are looking up

PS Andy and I have been loving looking at old photos of Pete's first few days with us

we are excited and anxious and nervous

all in a good way

Memorial Day or Virgin Smokers

2011-06-01T09:10:00.000-04:00

my husband and his friends

(you know who you are)

went in on a smoker together

I mocked

I won't lie

but was also humbled

their maiden voyage brought us

pork ribs, pork loin, sausage, and chicken

all smoked

all delicious

we had a typical Brooklyn stoop party

good food

good friends

and half dressed children in flip flops running with Popsicles

minus heat and humidity and my smokey apartment

I would say the day was a success

fun and laughs were had by all

sadly, I was in a meat stupor halfway through and didn't get pictures of everyone

as you can see

mostly the kids

because they were so blasted cute

or maybe they weren't and I am just anxious for baby boy

so I am naturally inclined to be in love with all children

at least for the next 2-ish weeks

then I can go back to disliking children again

and all will be right with the world again

j/k.....but sort of serious too

38 weeks and confusion

2011-05-31T13:54:00.002-04:00

Last time around, I never actually went into labor. My water just broke. I was having contractions more or less, but they weren't the real thing. They were sporadic at best and would stop when I laid down. This was not real labor. Then we jumped to high doses of pitocin (thank you grumpy doctor who was not my own and nor did you care that this was not what I wanted) and crazy, intense, unbearable, right on top of the other contractions started. Obviously if I was home and felt something similar, I would call my doctor right away and go to the hospital. But for what I felt this morning, I was a bit scared, excited, nervous, but mostly confused. In the end, I decided it was nothing. I did however cancel my gym appointment, so it was shocking enough at the time to make me afraid of breaking water in the middle of spin class. It was not shocking enough for me to cancel making dinner for a friend who just had a baby. I guess it serves me right for calling my mom the other day to tell her I already gave birth, 2 weeks early. She hated it, I thought it was hilarious.

So here we are, 38 weeks down. Perhaps 2 more to go. Apparently baby boy's organs are fully developed and all ready to be a part of this mortal existence, just a matter of time, the waiting game so they say...

this is Pete, a few days old, first moments at home

he looks as confused as I felt this morning

oh labor, such a kidder

P.S. hey prego body,

don't think that pretending to be in labor will get you out of a workout,

I plan on rescheduling for this afternoon.

deal with it.

what I did last week, but didn't post

2011-05-31T13:41:00.002-04:00

so last week's project is essentially a two week project

I am making a baby quilt for one who is having her first

that one on occasion looks at my blog

so I can't really show you the full project until later in the summer

when I give it to her

but seeing as how I doubt I will be doing much quilting after baby boy comes

I figured I better get on this

stat

so part one was to finish the quilt top

SUCCESS

part two

hope to finish it this week

working on binding as we speak